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April 01, 2024 09:00am
Sanders, Trump Joint News Conference
Source: News From the Future
by: Bryan Willams

Sanders, Trump (WASHINGTON DC) -- After an amazingly successful seven years, and as the Sanders/Trump administration prepares to endorse the next candidate for President, they held a joint news conference to remind every one of their accomplishments over the past two terms.

Everyone is anticipating the endorsement because the New Whig Party and the Bull Moose Party are now the dominant political parties in America. Remarkably, there are still almost 1000 Democrats clinging wrongly to the belief that they're economic philosophy works, and the Republican party has been completely disbanded since nobody votes stupid anymore.

Both the President and the Vice President held the joint press conference, as usual. The Trump/Sanders team works so well together that it's hard to tell which is President and which is Vice President.

Complete transcript of the brief press conference follows:

Sanders: First we will take questions, then will have an important announcement.

Reporter: Mr. Trump, please comment on the current economy.

Trump: "We have had a huuuuge period of economic growth over the past 7 years, and have made America great again!"

Sanders interjects: "My revolutionary ideas of free college have been implemented for the entire country, Wall Street is now under control, and the tax money from the rich has paid for a good portion of the remaining entitlements that..."

Trump interrupts: "And it's all been very fair, VERY fair - I'm paying a huuuuge amount myself!"

Reporter: Mr. Sanders, has the middle class been restored to your expectations?

Sanders: "Income inequality has been addressed and the lower class is very small now as most are prosperous and considered part of the new strong middle class."

Reporter: Mr. Trump, have you completed the trade negotiations you outlined six years ago?

Trump: "Trade negotiations could never have gone better! America is making money hand over fist - LITERALLY - and every American has benefitted from our programs. The wall along the boarder and the streamlining of the immigration process has brought an influx of vetted, legal workers that have enriched the American economy as well as the culture."

Reporter: Mr. Sanders, what about the remaining entitlement programs?

Sanders: "The wealth that was controlled by a small group of individuals is now controlled by a great number of the new middle class, and except for just a few entitlement programs that are still necessary, those government agencies have been reassigned to other priorities and will be disbanded completely when..."

Trump interrupts: "With the economy problems solved, the boarder secure, civil liberties expanded for every citizen and ISIS neutralized, the Mars program can now be implemented. Those interested in working on the Mars mission can sign up at your local NASA recruitment center to work on the Mars Direct launches at the International Moon Base. Thank you, people!"

Sanders: "As far as our joint endorsement of a presidential candidate, we only will announce that it's a governor of one of the 51 states who is a Native American. We are reluctant to name this individual because she still has not yet accepted to run for this office. Thank you and good night!"

And there you have it! Two of the most unlikely running mates America has ever seen have succeeded in a political revolution to make America great again!

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