Myles' Weekend Adventures: Bonjour mon amis! Comment ca va? Myles Shaffer here. On my way home in the wee hours of Saturday morning, September 12Th, I stopped in at a Seven Eleven store near my house. While in the store, I spotted a small metal rack filled with a big bunch of little plastic boxes of Freshmint Tic Tacs that were a shade of pink that defies description. That little rack full of those pink Tic Tacs was the gayest thing I've seen this side of West Hollywood, I swear. Unless my eyes were playing tricks on me, it would appear that the plastic boxes themselves were the same weird shade of pink that the Tic Tacs were. I mean no offense to any gay people, but I'll stick to my nice green Spearmint Tic Tacs, thank you!

Now that I have more than likely made myself appear to be a homophobe, which I'm not, let us begin the discussion of gorgeous women without further ado!

Roxy Jezel

Thursday, September 11Th, I picked up Jonathan and headed down the road. First, we stopped in at Veronica Rayne and Jack Vegas' Oxygen Lounge, in Tarzana, for a quick drink (a bottle of water for me and a soft drink for Jonathan) and a few minutes of conversation with the bartender. Then we proceeded up the road to the Oxnard Hometown Buffet, where we made a couple of little piggies of ourselves. Upon leaving there, we then proceeded to the Oxnard Spearmint Rhino to spend the remainder of the evening and to met Roxy Jezel and to observed both of her shows of the evening.

For her first show, Roxy wore a black tie, a short-sleeved, white, midriff top that tied between her breasts and a red plaid mini-skirt. Beneath the skirt, she wore a black thong. Roxy's footwear was a pair of knee-high, black, patent leather, stiletto-heeled, platform-soled boots that laced up the back.

Roxy ended her first show with a lotion bit and allowed a couple of randomly selected tip rail patrons to rub the lotion in. Needless-to-say, Roxy's interaction was quite good with those lucky guys!

Roxy performed this show to rock music that wasn't familiar to me, with the exception of, ''Smoking in the Boy's Room,'' as her final song.

To start her final show of the evening, Roxy again wore a black tie and a grey-green pleated mini-dress make to resemble a police uniform. The dress was decorated with a patch on the left shoulder that resembled a California Highway Patrol shoulder patch and a six pointed silver star shaped badge over her right breast. Beneath the mini-dress, Roxy wore a black thong. On her feet, Roxy wore what appeared to be the same boots, and that was just fine with me. The boots worked quite well with both costumes.

Once Roxy was nude, with the exception of her boots, she pulled one lucky customer up onto the stage, had him get down on his hands and knees, put her tie around his neck and lead him around the stage like a dog. Once she tired of this play, she sat astride his back and rode him around the stage like a horse. When she had enough of this play, she had him lie down on his back. Once he was stretched out on his back, Roxy simulated a sixty-nine with him, followed by a simulated reverse cowgirl. Anybody watching the show could tell that Roxy generally made the gentleman's night, if not his entire month!

Roxy again performed this show to rock music. One of her songs was familiar to me. Unfortunately, I neglected to write it down, and now I have forgotten what it was. Oh well, let's just say that I had a moment of senility and leave it at that.

Born in London, England, Roxy is one half English and one half Thai. She has a light brown complexion, hypnotic brown eyes and shiny, long, dark brown hair, which gives her a very exotic look.

I was so caught up in Roxy's exotic good looks and her pleasantness while chatting with her, I forgot to ask her about her physical statistics. Somebody help me out here. Quick, grab the nearest tape measure and go find Roxy!

Actually, I have found the missing statistics on the Internet. Now if any of this information is inaccurate, please sue Wikipedia, Roxy, not me. That is were I got the info. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Roxy stands five feet even, weighs one hundred five pounds and measures an all natural 32B-24-32. And, her beautiful, perky, breasts are firm and feel great! I know, because she graciously involved me, in a most delightful way, during her lotion bit at the end of the second show.

Roxy can be found and ogled at: RoxyJezelClub.com and MySpace.com/RoxyJezel

Monique Alexander

Friday, September 12Th, I drove up to the Van Nuys Spearmint Rhino to chat with Monique Alexander and to observe her last two shows of the evening. (I would have caught all three of her shows, but I ran late and just missed her first show of the evening. I did get to the club in time to catch Monique still doing her first signing, and therefore was able to sit down and chat with her for several minutes.)

Monique is five feet five inches tall, weighs one hundred five pounds and measures an all natural 32B-24-34. In addition to being a very lovely woman, she is smart, well spoken, extremely friendly, and she obviously enjoys meeting and chatting with her fans.

At the beginning of her second show, the first that I saw, Monique wore a white collar from which hung a blue tie with an overlaid crisscrossed red stripe design. Next, she wore a sleeveless, black, midriff top with silvery buttons. Around her wrists, she wore white cuffs with silvery buttons. She also wore an extremely small mini-skirt that matched the tie. From the mini-skirt hung black garter straps. Under the skirt, Monique wore a pair of black bikini bottoms. On her legs,she wore a pair of red fishnet, just above knee-length, hose pulled on over a pair of just above knee-length black hose. For footwear, she wore a pair of black, stiletto-heeled, platform-soled shoes.

Monique performed this show to rock music that, once again, I was not familiar with.

Monique's final show of the evening involved a light yellow top that was like a tube top except for the fact that it had a zipper in the back. The top had a pink bow between the breasts. Monique also wore a pair of ruffled, fingerless, gloves. Each glove had a pink ribbon around the wrist tied in a bow on top of each hand. She also wore a light yellow, two layered, ruffled, nearly microscopic mini-skirt. Beneath the skirt, Monique wore a pink G-string. Her footwear was a pair of clear, stiletto-heeled, platform-soled shoes.

Monique's music for this show was, for the most part, rock. However, I distinctly heard at least one hip hop number. As usual, I didn't recognize any of the music. (does anybody think I just might be a bit out of the musical loop these days?)

Ms. Alexander's interaction with the denizens of the tip rail is very good, to say the least.

I would recommend that anybody who gets a chance to go to a club to see Monique perform and to meet her in person should by all means take advantage of the opportunity. I do believe they would enjoy the experience. I personally find Monique to be an entertaining feature, and I do plan to see her perform again any chance I get.

Pay Monique a visit at: MoniqueAlexander.net

Nikki Benz

Saturday evening, September 13Th, I drove the few miles from my house to the City of Industry Spearmint Rhino to say hello to Nikki Benz and to observe one of her shows.

For the one show I saw, Nikki wore a camouflage baseball cap, a camouflage bikini bra and an extremely small, pleated, mini-skirt. She also wore a pair of sheer, black, fingerless, above elbow length gloves. On her legs, she wore a pair of mid-thigh length, sheer, black hose with a two-inch wide band of black lace at the top. For footwear, Nikki wore a pair of black, knee-high, patent leather, stiletto-heeled, platform-soled boots that laced up the front.

Nikki performed this show to hip hop music that I am not familiar with. How could I be? The only times I ever heard rap and hip-hop music is when I am in the clubs. I can't think of a single rap or hip-hop number that I would remember ever hearing before. (as a general rule, Nikki usually performs to hip-hop.)

Nikki Benz is a very good-looking, intelligent, woman who is quite friendly and who enjoys meeting and chatting with her fans. She is also very well spoken and can converse on just about any subject.

For whatever reason, Nikki did not come out onto the floor after the show I saw, and I was not able to stay any longer; therefore, I still can not tell anybody what her most recent physical statistics might be. Perhaps I'll have better luck getting the information the next time I see Nikki.

Nikki does a very good job on stage, and her interaction with randomly selected tip rail dwellers is reasonably good. Therefore, I would recommend that anybody who gets a chance to go to a nearby club to see Nikki perform and to meet her in person should most definitely take full advantage of the opportunity without fail. Check Nikki out at: NikkiBenz.com

That will just about do it for another week. Let us all meet back here the next time around to engage in another discussion of hot, sexy, women! Until then, everybody stay safe, have a great week, and live life as if there were no tomorrow!

Bonsoir et au revoir,
Myles Shaffer