Myles' Weekend Adventures: Bonjour mon amis! Comment ca va? Myles Shaffer here. I plan to speak of two lovely ladies this week. One of these ladies does a reasonably good impersonation of a cat. Is anybody curious now? If so, please read on. If not, read on anyway...

Carmen Hart

Thursday, May 1st, I went to the downtown Los Angeles Spearmint Rhino to spend the evening with Carmen Hart and to observe both of her shows.

For her first performance of the evening, Carmen did her salsa show. For this show, she wore a red and black flamenco-style costume that was decorated with lots of sequins and ruffles. Beneath her outer costume, Carmen wore a matching bra and a matching thong. These two items were also decorated with lots of sequins. Carmen's footwear was a pair of flesh tone shoes with stiletto heels. Also, during one part of her show, Carmen donned a red feather boa and played around with it. (I suppose the boa can be considered a part of her costume, even though she wasn't wearing it at first.)

Carmen performed this show to Latin flavored music or at least all of her music came very close to having a Latin beat. (Give me a break! What do I know about Latin music?)

Because of the lighting, or lack thereof, I had to ask Carmen about her shoes. She laughed and said, ''you ask me that every time you see me dance.'' Where upon, I stated, ''Yes I do, don't I? Your the lady who always wears the same shoes for all of your shows.'' Carmen went on to explain that they are regular everyday shoes and that she wears them because they are very comfortable. She said that besides, stripper shoes wear out so fast that it isn't worth spending the money on them. If Carmen would rather wear a pair of everyday high-heeled shoes to dance in than to wear a bunch of different flashy stripper shoes, that is fine with me. The lady has a good number of far more interesting body parts than just her feet anyway!

For her final performance of the evening, Carmen did her cat show. The costume for this show consisted of a furry cat face mask, complete with whiskers, and a black corset over a black jump suit. The jump suit had a long furry cat-like tail attached to it. Beneath her jump suit, Carmen wore a black bra and and a black thong. Both of these items were decorated with a small amount of sequins and some black fur. Amusingly enough, the thong also had a second furry, black, tail attached to it. For footwear, Carmen wore the same shoes, of course.

Carmen opened her cat show with, ''Cat Scratch Fever,'' and followed up with other appropriate rock numbers.

Ms. Hart not only performs well on stage, but she commits excellent interaction with the denizens of the tip rail.

Carmen is a beautiful, black haired, woman who stands five feet five inches tall, weighs one hundred twenty-five pounds and measures 34C-26-38. She is also a one hundred percent Native American member of the Lumbee tribe and proof positive that a Native American woman doesn't necessarily have to look like Geronimo in drag. (My apologies to the Apache people. Hey, I am part Tsalagi [Cherokee] myself.)

If anybody would like to learn more about the Lumbee tribe, they can go to Lumbee.org and do a little research.

Carmen Hart is an excellent feature dancer who is quite friendly and who loves to meet and chat with her fans. She is also smart and a very good conversationalist with a great sense of humor. Therefore, I can see absolutely no reason why anybody should ever pass up an opportunity to get out to a nearby club to see Carmen perform and to meet her in person.

Go to CarmenHart.com to take a good long look at this beautiful lady.

Charmane Star

Friday night, May 2ND, I drove up to the Van Nuys Spearmint Rhino to say hello to Charmane Star and to watch her perform.

Early on, my executive-vice-president-in-charge-of-backseat-driving announced that she was on her way to the store. I said something about okay, be careful, and she was on her way. After it was too late, it suddenly dawned on me that I should have told her to take our son with her. Sure enough, she was gone for just short of two hours.

Needless-to-say, I missed Charmane's first show, but she was still doing her first signing when I arrived. So, I was able to say hello and to speak with her for a couple of minutes before she had to return to her dressing room to prepare for her second show.

Renee Perez and her, ''date,'' arrived a few minutes after Charmane had gone back to her dressing room. Maybe I should explain.

Free FM 97.1 had selected one woman and two men from a lot of applicants. Then, on Tim Conway Jr.'s Thursday, May 1st, show, Renee and the one lady and the two men played a radio version of the old TV show, ''The Dating Game.''

On this night, a limousine picked up Renee and the winner of the game and whisked them away to dinner at an upscale Hollywood restaurant. After dinner, the limousine brought Renee and her, ''date,'' Harris, to the club for an evening of adult entertainment. (for more details, go to the press release ''Renee Perez Fantasy Date Huge Success'' linked below)

When I first hear about this, ''date,'' thing, I was concerned that Renee might end up with some jerk that wouldn't treat her right, or that might expect more from Renee than should be expected.

Within seconds after they arrived, Renee spotted me and introduced me to her, ''date.'' Much to his credit, Harris proved to be a very nice, friendly, fellow, and he treated Renee like the lady she is the entire evening.

When Renee and Harris first arrived, they seated themselves just two chairs to the right of were I was seated. Within about five seconds, Renee looked my way and recognized me. Once she saw me, she jumped up, came to me, gave me a huge hello hug and introduced me to Harris. (Later in the evening, the three of us sat together at the tip rail for one of Charmane's shows.)

Okay, enough of that. Let us now get back to the discussion of Charmane.

At the beginning of her second show, the first that I observed, Charmane wore her hair in dog ears. For a costume, she wore a long-sleeved red top with white cuffs and a white collar. She also wore a tie that resembled the British flag and an extremely short, red plaid, mini-skirt. Beneath the mini- skirt, she wore a pair of ruffled white panties. For footwear, Charmane wore a pair of mid-thigh length white boots with platform soles and stiletto heels.

Charmane performed this show to rock music.

For her final show of the evening, Charmane wore a black top hat and carried a black walking stick. Around her throat, she wore a black choker that formed into a bow tie in the front. She also wore a black ruffled piece. I really don't know what it was. I didn't even realize that it was a separate piece, until it was lying on the floor of the stage, and Charmane was still wearing a second black vest-like piece. Under the two black things,she wore a long sleeved, lacy, somewhat frilly, shirt. Charmane additionally wore a pair of black leather short shorts. Beneath the shorts, she wore a black leather thong. On her feet, Charmane wore a pair of mid-thigh length silver boots that sparkled so, it was as if they were made completely of glitter. The boots had clear platform soles and clear stiletto heels.

Charmane opened this show with, ''Putting On the Ritz,'' and followed up with other appropriate rock numbers.

Ms. Star tossed out several 8X10's and one DVD at the end of each show.

Charmane performs well on stage, and she commits reasonably good interaction with randomly selected tip rail customers.

Charmane is five feet tall, weighs one hundred pounds and measures 32C-21-33. Not only does she have a sexy little body, but Charmane has a great personality, a very good sense of humor, and she definitely enjoys meeting her fans.

I can see absolutely no reason why anybody should ever pass up a chance to get out to a nearby club to see Charmane Star perform and to meet her in person. It would be worth the effort.

Check Charmane out at: CharmaneLive.com

At one point in Charmane's show during which Renee Perez, her, ''date,'' and I sat together, Charmane came to Renee and the two of them played around with each other for a couple of minutes. Once they were done, I turned to Renee and told her that I didn't know which of them I should be jealous of. I suppose it wouldn't matter which one of them I might choose to be envious of, since I would love to spend time in the arms of either of them!

Okay, that is it. I'm completely out of things to say for another week. Let's all meet back here the next time to discuss many more beautiful women. Until then, everybody stay safe, have a great week, and live life as if there were no tomorrow!

Bonsoir et au revoir,
Myles Shaffer