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Porn for GEEKS! Meet me & my friends!

Kayden Kross at Twistys

January 15, 2006 09:25am
Julie Meadows Goes Bald
Source: Adult Industry News
by: Julie Meadows

I think in order to be a decent writer, a person must consider different angles and perspectives. One must really take into account that there are many attitudes that are right and valid, though somewhat askew from one another. I think a good writer is impartial and good at seeing everyone's point of view. That said... I like pubic hair, damn it! What did pubes ever do to you?? Huh?! Aside from tickle your face, add some much needed floss (for some people), and grab onto and hold that musky odor that people really seemed to like at one point in time?! I just don't... sorry. I'm sorry. I forget to breath sometimes.

I'm kidding! (No I'm not.) Honestly, I don't really care that much. (I do.) but the concept is intriguing. So many girls shave it completely off now. I did whack it all off some years back. It all started with the stripping job. Not topless, but nude. Just being a topless dancer did not require me to lop off the pubes, but only to shave them back a bit lest my g-string look like a character from the Muppet Show and not merely an article of clothing. But the nude gig was a different story.

I worked at various clubs all over Dallas and the surrounding areas, you see. When I went to work at the nude bar in Arlington, Texas, I found it quite different from the topless bars because of certain restrictions. In Los Angeles you can showcase your tonsils right there on center stage. In Texas, once the undergarments come off, you can't bend over at all, and the knees can only spread about six inches from each other. This is important because this is what finally caused me to shave my poonani hair. (Poonani is code for 'vagina', in case some of you missed "The Vagina Monologues"). Too much bush meant the guys had to nearly stick their face right in there to see anything. That, of course, meant way too much various guy odor on my delicate femininity. You understand my plight.

Anyway, the only thing that kept me shaving it after I stopped working at that club was the mother effing itching that happens when the hair follicle starts bursting back through and out of that very sensitive skin. In fact, it's easy to accidentally peel the skin off completely catering to that itching sensation. Way too much information, isn't it? Thought so.

Now! ...that is why I had a bald spot. But there is appeal to having pubic hair, or is it just me? Is hair just altogether gross and I missed the big Non-Pubes Movement? Have we found out that the Hair Down There is bad for us, like the 'Trans Fat' that I didn't even know existed until the company that makes my very favorite coffee creamer started advertising how they don't allow it in the product? Should I have an ad on my panties just in case a person were to squeal and bolt for the door being unexpectedly attacked by bush. Wait... never mind. I'm married. But still! Why are pubes so bad? Why does the term 'pubes' make me giggle every time I write it? I really need to know, damn it!

Without spouting off a lot of redundant facts that no one cares about just to look official somehow, it's safe to assume that a long time ago people didn't shave at all. I mean, why would they? They were more interested in discovering ways of making weapons so they could eat. That's understood, right? Okay. Eventually, people came around to cleaning up a bit around the armpits and legs (except for the French). That's understood, too? Okay! The seventies and eighties show us still to this day that it is desirable to clean it up, but one can do that without sending the entire mop into the trash bin or down the sink forever.

I'll admit to being out of the loop. Maybe the directors require it. Someone please fill me in if you see me. Try not to shout it at me across the grocery store. A discreet whisper is okay.

I know I'm not saying anything new here, but the most obvious appeal is that pubic hair is a sign of adulthood. It represents maturity. I like the way girls like Jill Kelly shaved theirs' down. It was all there, but short. Nice V-shape, low cut. Whatever. Lots of girls have worn it that way. Before I grew mine out completely it was a... what did they call it... a runway? A... A landing strip! Yeah. One thin line pointing at the target. Just an indication, but still there! What's wrong with that? So many girls shave it off. I got offered a job once to shave it off in a scene. I had to say no. It takes forever to grow it back. Maybe the switch is that when I first got into the industry, it was much more desirable to have hair, especially for print work. Magazine layouts. Photographers turned me away because of my lack of hair. Then again, maybe I'm just stupid enough to believe them when what they really meant was that they didn't think I was that attractive. Maybe it was more diplomatic for them to say, "Sorry, but you have no pubic hair," than to say, "You are fugly and you have no boobs." if that is in fact the case, I'm glad they blamed it on my pubes. I would have hated to burn down the building of every guy who called me a titless ogre.

There's nothing wrong with looking your age because you have hair on your coochie. Some people still like it. In fact, Paul Thomas went out of his way to practically exclaim it on stage at the Adult Video News Awards in 2005. A big, "Stop shaving your pubic hair, girls!" but that really says it, doesn't it? That's what it really comes down to. Pubic hair is the mark of maturity. Whether you have it or not, you are showing your age. Are you a woman, or are you a girl? Does that mean if a director or agent requires a girl to be completely shaven that he lacks maturity? Yes. That, or he's thinking of the audience, which... lacks maturity? Yes. And if a girl shaves it all off, does she lack maturity? Yes. A woman has hair. A prepubescent youngster does not. That's not to say there's anything wrong with ameteurity... I mean immaturity. That's just the way it is. It takes all kinds. Especially in porn.

But!, it is easier to see what's going on when there's no hair in the way. But isn't the sex extremely surgical-procedure-exposed anyway? You can see what's going on even when there's hair there.

Then again, I fear ever becoming a dinosaur in my point of view, so maybe having hair goes against something as large as human evolution. Maybe the baldness starts in the groin and eventually evolves to our heads. Somewhere way in the future when the genders become unisex or something like that. And then there's always the obvious perspective.

Fuck it.

HardArt Films

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