January 16, 2006 06:36am
Ask a Swinger: Time To Stop Swinging?
by: Julie Wild
Is it Time To Stop Swinging? Is there a time to call it quits? Does swinging become boring? This weeks reader mailbag was full of questions concerning the lifestyle. Does there become a time when couples need to stop swinging? Can swinging become boring? See what my readers had to say on this topic.
If you have a question or comment on an adult topic, please feel free to e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. I answer all my e mails and choose the most interesting to include in my weekly column.
We have been married for 7 years. Started out as a fun marriage, then became boring. We added toys, then movies and most recently swinging. Unfortunately, we are now bored with visiting swing clubs. Any advice?
Sam and Sarah
Dear Sam & Sarah,
I am concerned for the two of you. It sounds like maybe you two need to take a good look at your basic relationship. Many couples experience boredom in the bedroom, but after seven years, it sounds like the flame went out.
I remind everyone I talk to that swinging is for healthy, happy, trusting couples who want to expand their relationship and experiences. Swinging is not a cure for the unhealthy relationship.
If you are experiencing boredom in the bedroom. You may need to seek out a sex therapist or coach. If the boredom is in all areas of your relationship, I would suggest you seek a marriage counselor right away. I wish their was a simpler answer.
Dear Coach Julie,
I am not sure if you read in the news about the swingers new year's eve parties at two different hotels. It appears they had complaints from other guests who were not attending the party. The party in Orlando Florida has made national news. Would you attend a hotel party?
Marie and Darren
Dear Marie and Darren,
I heard about the hotel parties that made national news. It seems as though some of the guests had teenage boys who went to the floor where the swingers had a hospitality suite. Some of the guests complained that the swingers were walking through the lobby with skimpy outfits.
I have attended many hotel parties. Personally I have never found the activity in the ballroom any different than a high school prom. Most swingers do dress provocative, but just turn on MTV and you will see girls in less attire. All the parties that I have attended used the ballroom as a meet and greet, with dining and dancing.
Then the couples would leave the ballroom and go to a specific floor where they had private rooms. Most organized parties have hospitality suites with refreshments and a staff member to watch for unwanted guests on the floor.
I would make sure the organizer of the swinger party in your area has a good track record and does not break the local ordinances, especially when it comes to alcohol.
A few years ago, here in Atlanta, the police raided a new club that was hosting a party and arrested over 100 people. This was due to the organizers not securing the proper liquor licenses for the event. My best advice is to be sure the organizers are familiar with the local law.
I am over swing clubs and private personal ads. It is no longer fun. My wife and I started swinging about 5 years ago. We are married but bored. So we added advertised for a third person to join us. Then we started to visit a swing club. This became an every Saturday night event with us.
I don't know what to do, I am just not enjoying the parties and the men and ladies who respond to our ads are less than desirable. Do you ever get tired of swinging? Any suggestions?
It sounds to me like you need to take a break from the lifestyle. I hear your story often. Keep in mind that anything you do to the extreme will get old. Some swing clubs are more fun than others, but all swing clubs can get boring if you start attending out of repetition instead of desire.
For me, the fun in going to a swing club is watching the other couples interact. Meeting single men on the internet can be challenging and dangerous. Personally, I would suggest trying to host your own private party. I enjoy private lifestyle parties more than clubs.
If you have a question for Julie, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. If you would like to find out more on Julie's Phone sex Coaching, please visit JulieWild.com or call me at 404-806-7386 for more information.