September 30, 2005 08:00am
Ask a Swinger: Sex for One
by: Julie Wild
Julie's guide for shaving and masturbation.
There seems to be a misconception in our society that great sex requires two people. I for one, love pleasing myself. I receive e mails from ladies coast to coast who share their love for masturbation. Many share stories of secretly masturbating while their husbands are at work.
This week's letters are from horny housewives across America.
My husband would be shocked to know that I read your column or that I wrote to you. I am 37 and horny. I can't get enough sex. Since my husband has a low sex drive, I found a new way to please myself. I use a tennis ball.
One day on vacation I became very horny. I did not have my favorite vibrator handy, so I noticed a tennis ball in the room. While laying on my stomach, I placed the ball between my legs with the ball pressing against my clitoris. My legs were together and my ankles crossed. I started to squeeze my inner thighs together and worked the ball in a humping motion. It continuously pressed against my clitoris. I continued to squeeze my legs together and with the rocking motion, I had multiple orgasms.
I often wonder if my husband knows why I take a tennis ball on all vacations, but never a tennis racket?
I must say I like your style. I have found many items at the dollar stores and in the kitchen to pleasure myself with. I am going to try your technique tonight.
Dear Coach Julie,
My wife was raised believing masturbating is a sin. Good girls don't pleasure themselves. I find watching a woman masturbate the most awesome sight. She has agreed to try but is not sure of the best method. We visited an adult store, but the sight of those huge dildos scares her. Any suggestions?
Many women enjoy external stimulation. This does not require insertion of the toy. I would suggest trying external stimulation first. Here are a few methods.
External stimulation with a dildo or massages. Holding the dildo or massager on top of the pelvic triangle, let the toy gently make contact with vagina. Another method is to place an adequate amount of lube on the dildo and place it on a hard chair, then as she sits on the chair, let the dildo slide up and down in between her lips. The dildo will be sliding all the way from her anus to her clit without any penetration.
Running water is an excellent stimulator. Many bathtubs are shaped so she can allow her pelvis to slide down under the pressure of the running water. Another method is to use a hand held shower massages. Hot tubs and Jacuzzi tubs are excellent for water masturbation.
Once she is comfortable with masturbation and dildos, she will most likely enjoy picking out her own toys. Many women become so comfortable with masturbation, they purchase a double headed dildo which allows penetration into the vagina and the anus.
Good luck and please make her feel comfortable, masturbation is a wonderful experience.
My husband seems to love how neatly I trim or shave my pubic hair. My problem is with him. He is very hairy and often asks me to perform oral sex on him. I often choke on small hairs. Can you please tell him that men often shave. He reads your column and will listen to you.
You are not alone, I receive letters like yours all the time. The husbands prefer clean shaven women but they don't shave or trim. Based on the letters I receive and the men I meet at swing clubs, more and more men are either shaving or trimming their pubic hair.
I always suggest to couples that I work with to try shaving together. Use warm water, then apply ample shaving cream. Allow the shaving cream to stay on for a few minutes before shaving. Using disposable razors, gently start to shave your man. Don't worry about stray hairs. Just allow him to enjoy the sensations.
If you are like most couples, this will be such a turn on, you won't need to worry about the details. The sexual energy will be so high, it will lead to an erotic evening. Then when he takes a shower, he can shave in more detail and catch any places you missed.
Let me know how it works out. Be careful, razors are sharp and you would not want to end up hurting him.
If you have a question for Julie, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. If you would like to find out more on Julie's Phone sex Coaching, please visit JulieWild.com or call me at 404-806-7386 for more information.