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March 30, 2005 12:38am
Random Notes from a Red Notebook: Shane's World sponsors PSK
Source: Courtesy of Tod-Hunter.net
by: Tod Hunter

(BURBANK, CA) -- Another report courtesy of Tod Hunter. Please go by his site linked in the box to the right and read more of his writings on Porn, Politics and Mainstream. -Ed.

"I meet photographer Dr. X outside Sardo's. He has a new porn performer he wants me to meet. Her name is Kat, and Our Australian Friend (LukeisBack.com) and I gang-interview her. He is a lot more serious about it than I am, digging into her religious background and how her mother feels about her work...

Fozzi is outside, telling me that he's really excited about a typing job he's doing for screenwriter Burt Prelutsky. I always liked Prelutsky, he was columnist for the L.A. Times and wrote one of my favorite late-'60s Dragnets, a witty story about an obnoxious criminal who insisted on calling himself Mr. Daniel Lumis... Nicole is here, wearing a T-shirt with an installed V-neck with "P.R. Bitch" hand-written over the right shoulder... She was interviewed for a Current Affair for air Wednesday, but you know Johnnie Cochran is gonna get some airtime on that show too. Maybe it was Tuesday night...

The bouncers wave me in, past the line. It's good to be a regular... Jimmy Mofo is in the center booth, Keiko ringside. I slip into my now-accustomed chair across from Keiko, next to Rob. Fozzi is at the end, Scotty Schwartz next to me. "This is the old men's table, now, right?" Scotty asks, advancing his age a good 20 years if he's equating himself with me and Fozzi... Me, at least... Keiko offers to get me a Shane's World goodie bag, but they're already gone... Rachel Worth, with a camera, sitting across from Roy Karch... Lisa Sparxxx in a pink MofoWear shirt with an installed V-neck... The waitresses are wearing Shane's World T-shirts... A Diet Coke appears in front of me. It's good to be a regular...

Konnie from DVSX in a T-shirt that says "Your Boyfriend Says Hi."... Lynly sings All that Jazz, peeling off a South Park sweatshirt to reveal a lime-green camisole... Our Australian Friend walks up, shakes hands all around... Guys with vidcams running around, I wonder if the Camera Guy is here... Anh and Danny from Wanted List... Lori Alexia... Brooklyn... Scotty sings Oh Pretty Woman... Shane's World talent Penny Flame improvs a verse of All I Wanna Do, and Wankus back-announces her saying "This song brought to you by Jim Beam"... A banana-eating contest for a $20 Victoria's Secret gift certificate... KSEX tech Powder.... Lori dances on a chair. Brooklyn pokes her head under Lori's skirt... Lezley Zen, or maybe not, she looks different if it is her... After one singer finishes a song, Lori does a back flip, then a headstand... White thong, if you must know... Konnie sings No Doubt's Spiderwebs... Jennie from Shane's World walks up to the platform seats... Chico Wang walks up to the stage, turns around, drops trou, moons the audience... Somebody named Andrea sings "Don't Stop Believin'," a gutsy move, but she pulls it off. Big voice. Interesting outfit: An elegant strapless top that looks like part of an evening gown, jeans and sneakers... She picks up her longneck beer and goes back to her seat... John West is here, celebrating a birthday... Another contest, involving women putting condoms on bananas... Kristin is ineligible, but tucks the banana between her thighs and whammo puts the condom on it in about half-a-second, making the contest a race for second place...

Lisa Sparxxx grabs a guy, pulls his face into her chest. "You're never that happy to see me," I say to her, and she flips up her shirt and flashes me, grinning... Joel Lawrence is here. Wow, he never comes here... Shane's World Web Wizard Megan has a tattoo at the small of her back, I never noticed that before... Luke is behind the DJ station... Fozzi sings Paul Simon's you Can Call Me Al... Ron Jeremy is here... Keiko sings Chuck E.'s in Love... Vanessa Blue... Gram Ponante walks up, says one word. "Madhouse." Yep...

Kristin sings Separate Ways backed up by Wankus and a guy named Chucky, when Wankus grabs her for his girl-as-guitar bit she says "He always does this shit"... Wayne Hentai pulls up a chair, sits next to me. We chat as Gram Ponante joins us. This could be Paul's worst nightmare... There's a redheaded young-Susan-Sarandon type in a wrap top, showing a bit of cleavage. The white top shows off her pale skin nicely... Konnie and Brooklyn sing I Love Rock & Roll as a tourist couple in the U-shaped booth make out. When they part, she touches up her lipstick...

Jimmy Mofo tells me that Brooklyn is the new MofoWear girl. They had a contest last night... Brooklyn clears some drinks out of her way, kneels on the table and poses for the camera phones... A guy comes up and sings Big Bad Voodoo Daddy's you and Me and the Bottle Makes Three Tonight (Baby) and the last line, "Whaddaya mean it's last call?" brings things to a natural close... I step outside, say good night to Seymour, and chat with Megan and Nicole before heading off on the long arduous 15-minute drive to the other end of Burbank where I live...

Sardo's is at 259 N. Pass Avenue in Burbank, half-a-block north of the 134. Here's the link: SardosBar.com. PSK is on Tuesdays, starting at about 9 pm.

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