Quick Index
 Adult Industry News
Search AINews Database
Type Keyword or Phrase Here
HardArt Films Pornography feminists unshackle their desires and celebrate their sexuality in the patriarchal world

Front Page
Film News
Media News
Business News
Clubs & Appearances
Law & Politics
Internet & Mobile News
Lifestyles Arts Health Charity
Letters to the Editor
Movie Spotlight Reviews
Pornstar Pages
AINews Staff
Ad Rates
PR 101: Press Release Service

Porn for GEEKS! Meet me & my friends!


January 23, 2005 12:00am
Ask a Swinger: What's a Man To Do?
Source: JulieWild.com
by: Julie Wild

January is a tough month on relationships, cleaning up from the holidays, getting back to work, setting resolutions and having time to reflect on life, love and happiness. Many couples use this down time to explore what is important to them, what is working in their relationship, others focus on what is not working in their relationship. What's a man to do when relationships are out of balance?

As a coach, I suggest that everyone take time to clarify their own goals and values. This will help you achieve happiness in all areas of your life.

This weeks mail focuses on what to do when your relationship is out of balance. If you have a question, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com


Dear Julie,

I'm one of those husbands that is in need of more than I'm receiving. Just like your site reads I love the wife and kid but have a higher sex drive than the spouse. I just happened to find your site and thought I would see what type of response I get. I have explored some other avenues and don't know that I am getting what I need or not. I guess I would know if I was because I would feel satisfied, but I don't. Thought I would give you a shot to see if you could cure what ails me.

Rick P.

Dear Rick,

Your e mail is very familiar to me, sex seems to be everywhere except at your doorstep? You feel that your sex drive is not in balance with your spouse? You want more, she wants less? My guess is you have tried to fulfill your needs outside the home, but left feeling empty and unsatisfied.

I regularly tell my clients that having a relationship outside the marriage is a symptom and not the source of the problem. If you would like to balance your sex drives, you need to look deep to find the source of the problem. Since I have limited information to go on, my guess is she is tired, maybe taking care of the kids, the house, even a part time job? My suggestion is to talk to her about your desires. Communicate your request, don't make her guess and most important, remember women like romance and foreplay. Have you tried mutual masturbation, phone sex or asking her to watch you masturbate, it just might rekindle the spark.

Dear Julie,

Hi my name is Carl, and I am a 41 year old married male with kids. I have been with my wife for 15 years and love her very much. The problem is that she has completely lost her sex drive. She doesn't masturbate and never wants sex. Unlike me, who can masturbate several times a day. She is not a total prude, because once in a while she will watch a porn movie with me, and even use a vibrator and masturbate for me, while I get off.

The problem is how do I get her more interested in sex? I do not want to cheat on her. I would to love to swing, but I know that is out of the question. I would also, like to find a nice clean couple in my area that would not mind a very nice clean guy watching them have sex, while I masturbate. Do you have any recommendations? I would also like to join in on your phone sex orgy. How do I do that discreetly without my wife finding out? Your help will be greatly appreciated.

Carl P.


Thanks for the e mail. You asked several questions so I hope I can answer them all. First off, if you love your wife, I suggest you communicate your desires to her and assist her in exploring your sexual desires as a couple. One suggestion is if she is willing to watch a porn movie with you, maybe you could suggest visiting a swing club, with specific boundaries in place, so she will feel safe and secure. Something like, lets visit a swing club this weekend and just watch, and then we can come home and recreate the evening in our own bedroom.

If you are looking for a couple to watch, some swing clubs have one or two nights that allow single men. Although I am not suggesting you visit a swing club alone, it is a safe way to watch a couple or two. Many couples would enjoy knowing they are being watched.

My phone sex party is free, and I would recommend you talk to your wife and ask her to join in on the call. You could both call from your home and I always give priority to women. It is a lot of fun and great for relationships that need a burst of energy. My phone parties have the energy of a swing club, with the privacy and security of staying home.

Dear Coach Julie,

You are one special lady. I wish I could be more like you. I have been married for 12 years, about 4 years ago, our sex life was really dull and boring. It was the same thing, week after week. One day I was outside in the yard and a neighbor walked by and stopped to talk. We had a lot in common and arranged lunch. We became best friends and within weeks discovered how much we loved each others company.

My husband travels on business, so I invited my friend to spend the weekend with me since I would be alone. We soon found that two women can make great bed partners. I discovered how much enjoyment I get out of making love to a woman.

This has been going on for a long time and now I think I would like to leave my husband for this woman. What should I do?

Ann S.

Dear Ann,

It is interesting to receive your letter. Most questions about sex outside the marriage are from men. I would suggest that you carefully think through this decision just like the advice I give to men. Don't apply a long term solution to a short term problem or goal.

Most individuals that I work with do not give up a marriage for better sex. If you are seeking to live with a lady, that might be another factor. If it is just for a better sex life, please consider all dynamics of your divorce before moving out. One suggestion might be to discuss this desire with your husband. Your marriage could be strengthened by your honesty. On the other hand, he might want out of the marriage as much as you do. Communication is the best advice I can give you.


If you have a question for Julie, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. If you would like to find out more on Julie's Phone sex Coaching, please visit JulieWild.com or call me at 404-806-7386 for more information.

HardArt Films

Related Stories

Related Sites - WARNING! Graphic Content


New AINews Website

Top Stories

New Jenevieve Hexxx Vids on Pornhub

MWA: 06/28/19

MWA: 06/26/19

2019 XRCO Awards Winners

MWA: 06/20/19

Seth Gamble at Industry Discussion

MWA: 06/13/19

MWA: 05/24/19

MWA: 05/21/19

Sofie Marie on Swinging

MWA: 05/08/19

2019 Club EXPO Breaks Record

Emori Pleezer: BDSM Princess

Expo 2019: A Star is Born

AEE 2019: Is Camming the New Porn?

2019 XRCO Awards Nominations Announced

MWA: 04/20/19

MWA: 04/12/19

AEE 2019: Ela Darling

AEE 2019: Sofie Marie

AEE 2019: Cindy Starfall on Swinging and Camming

MWA: 04/10/19

Stunning Summer Now Loves Models Talent Agent

AEE 2019: Christiana Cinn on Porn and Camming

AEE 2019: Bree Mills, Part Two

AEE 2019: Bree Mills, Part One

Alexis Fawx: A Lesson in Self-Awareness

MWA: 04/01/19

AEE 2019: Sofia Rose, BBW Sweetheart

AEE 2019: Taylor Stevens on Camming

AEE 2019: Kelley Cabbana and Camming

MWA: 03/29/19

AEE 2019: Cory Chase

MWA: 03/27/19

MWA: 03/25/19

AEE 2019: Ember Snow Talks Cam Girls

MWA: 03/16/19

MWA: 03/08/19

MWA: 03/01/19

Charlie Biggs RIP

AEE 2019: Vanna Bardot Update

Discloses Searches for Prostitutes

Elements ~ Reviewer Rated

Industry Veteran D. Wise Passes

Decline of Big Girl Market

AEE 2019: The Code and August Ames

AEE 2019: Nina at Thirty-five

Angel Marie at Lust

Sexual Harassment ~ Reviewer Rated

MWA 12/19/18

MWA: 12/12/18

Sarah Vandella: Pushing my Boundaries

MWA: 12/10/18

MWA: 12/08/18

Reagan Foxx: A Ton of Fun

MWA: 11/28/18

MWA: 11/18/18

Depression in the Industry

Vanna Bardot: The Girl with the Braces

Scarlett Mae: Making Sex Feel Natural

MWA: 11/08/18

HardArt's Sexual Harassment Trailer

MWA: 11/07/18

HardArt Announces Sexual Harassment

Love in the Digital Age ~ Reviewer Rated

Being a Pornstar

Sexual Harassment Trailer

HardArt Lauches Website

OneStone Hub

E11EVEN, Nova Win at ED Expo

HardArt Rejects Director Sally Forth

MWA: 08/19/18

Stokely Cherry OTM

August Taylor MILF PoY Nom

Phoenix Divina Hooking

ED Expo Opening Party

Vickie Jay on VNALive

HardArt 3 Pic Deal

Iron Girls 6

Carmen Valentina NightMoves Nom

Dillion Harper at Expose

Texas, Monroe, Valentien to SEXPO

The Puppeteer

Urban X Voting Open

Brooklyn Chase in Madison

HardArt's Hypersexuals a Success!

TES Affiliate Conference

Jessica Johnson Hooking

MWA: 07/27/18

Vote Olive Glass, NightMoves

Attn: Club Owners, Managers, Staff, Entertainers

2018 Inked Awards

Hard Art's Hypersexual

MWA: 07/25/18

Johnson Hosts Urban X

Dee Wallace at Horrorfest

MWA: 07/19/18 - XRCO

AirBnB Discriminates Against Sara Jay

Hard Art Shoots First

MWA: 07/21/18

Holly Hendrix at Exxxotica

Karen Fisher at Exxxotica

Carmen Valentina at Exxxotica

DomCon Registration Opens

Luna Star at Exxxotica

Elvira Receives Price Award

BSF Media Welcomes Sabrina Deep

MWA: 07/18/18

Jenevieve Hexxx Site Launch

Sex Expo NY 2018

MWA: 07/16/18

MWA: 07/15/18

Bush 7

Hard Art Signs Director

Pulse Inks Hard Art

MWA: 06/28/18

New Studio: Hard Art

XRCO Changes Venue

The Roast of April O'Neil

McCullough, Rai on Inside

Morgan, Foxxx CoHo XRCO

Big Ass Rubdown ~ Reviewer Rated

MWA: 05/03/18

MWA: 04/29/18

MWA: 04/28/18

Natasha Nice Free Agent

Holly Hendrix Self Booking

CDC: Undetectable HIV

2018 XRCO Nominees


Natasha Nice Gangbang

Amateur Introductions 26

Sex Expo NY 2018

2018 XRCO Awards Announced

Anal Violation of Bonnie Grey ~ Reviewer Rated

Eros, a Short Film

Lee Signs Victoria June

Maxine X Voted #1

Czernich Releases Heavy Rubber 37

Legal Panel: Weinstein, #MeToo

Consent Checklist

Nice Girls Swallow 10

Paradise Wins Best Condom

Paradise, Astroglide StorErotica Nom

Paradise Marketing New Website

Dennis Paradise Inducted

Stories From


MWA: 06/28/19

MWA: 06/26/19

MWA: 06/20/19

MWA: 06/13/19

MWA: 05/24/19

MWA: 05/21/19

MWA: 05/08/19

AEE 2019: Is Camming the New Porn?

MWA: 04/20/19

MWA: 04/12/19

MWA: 04/10/19

MWA: 04/01/19

MWA: 03/29/19

MWA: 03/27/19

MWA: 03/25/19

MWA: 03/16/19

MWA: 03/08/19

MWA: 03/01/19

AEE 2019: The Code and August Ames

MWA 12/19/18

MWA: 12/12/18

MWA: 12/10/18

MWA: 12/08/18

Depression in the Industry

MWA: 11/28/18

MWA: 11/18/18

MWA: 11/08/18

MWA: 11/07/18

MWA: 07/27/18

MWA: 07/25/18

MWA: 07/19/18 - XRCO

MWA: 07/21/18

MWA: 07/18/18

MWA: 07/16/18

MWA: 07/15/18

MWA: 06/28/18

MWA: 05/03/18

MWA: 04/29/18

MWA: 04/28/18

MWA: 03/04/18

MWA: 02/28/18

MWA: 02/22/18

MWA: 02/18/2018

MWA: 01/16/18

MWA: 12/26/17

MWA: 12/21/17

MWA: 12/16/17

MWA: 12/10/17

MWA: 12/09/17

MWA: 12/06/17

MWA: 12/05/17

Gonzo with Eddie Powell

MWA: 11/07/17

MWA: 10/06/17

MWA: 08/27/17

MWA: 08/26/17

MWA: 07/27/17

MWA: 07/24/17

MWA: 07/01/17

MWA: 06/21/17

Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals Interview

MWA: 06/20/17

MWA: 06/05/17

Getting Into Porn

MWA: 05/27/17

MWA: 05/14/17

MWA: 04/12/17

MWA: 04/11/17

MWA: 03/25/17

MWA: 03/23/17

MWA: 03/12/17

MWA: 03/10/17

MWA: 03/06/17

MWA: 03/05/17

MWA: 03/01/17

MWA: 02/24/17

AEE 2017: A Resounding Success

MWA: 01/09/17

MWA: 01/06/17

MWA: 12/31/16

MWA: 12/20/16

MWA: 12/19/16

MWA: 12/18/16

MWA: 11/01/16

MWA: 10/30/16

MWA: 10/14/16

Are You an iDriver?

MWA: 09/14/16

MWA: 09/12/16

Columns Section Index

Copyright © 1998 - 2018 Adult Industry News (AINews.com)
All materials constituting text, articles, press releases, stories, columns, photographs, graphics, and code on the AINews.com domain are protected by copyright, and either owned by Adult Industry News (AINews.com), or reproduced with permission from other copyright owners. It may be downloaded and printed for personal reference, but not otherwise copied, altered in any way, or transmitted to others, without the written permission of Adult Industry News (AINews.com).