January 09, 2005 12:56am
Ask a Swinger: Sex in the Office Do Co-Workers Make Good Swing Partners?
by: Julie Wild
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and a fantastic new year. I received e mails from so many of my readers wishing me a happy new year and inquiring about my new radio show, the Julie Show. I personally respond to all e mails, even if I do not use them in my column. Please feel free to write me with questions on any adult topic.
This weeks mailbag was full of stories and questions concerning company holiday parties and sex in the office. Here are a few of the questions.
Dear Coach Julie,
I work with a wonderful man named Tom. He is 50 years old and very attractive. We spend a lot of time together, including meetings, in the office, lunch and traveling. He is always very friendly, actually he is very loving and affectionate. I have asked him several times if he was seeing someone or if he had ever been married.
He does not seem to be seeing anyone and he has never been married. He seems too good to be true. I have asked him to escort me to several social functions and everyone says we make a great couple. I think I am falling in love with Tom, but the relationship doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Do you think he is just being professional and trying to avoid having a relationship with a co-worker?
First the good news, you have a relationship with Tom, just not an intimate relationship. You can enjoy the times together, the vacations and spending time with someone whose company you enjoy.
Now the bad news, I can quickly think of three things that might be preventing Tom from moving the relationship forward. One is he might be gay. A second reason might be a medical condition, like erectile dysfunction, which might prevent him from performing well. This might make him hesitant to start a new relationship.
The third reason might be that he is not attracted to you, in spite of what he said.
I am in love with my co-worker. She is beautiful, divorced and really sexy. I bought her sexy lingerie for her birthday, perfume for Christmas and took her to a candlelight dinner for new years. I want to know what is the ultimate turn-on for a woman?
Although most men think of roses, wine, chocolate and of course diamonds, the truth is, sexual confidence. Both men and women are turned on by sexual confidence. Women want their partner to know what will bring her pleasure and to offer to do those things for her. For a man, knowing that his partner is truly enjoying herself significantly increases his sexual confidence.
I work for a large dot com company. My co-worker and I enjoy spending time together. She is an incredible women. She and I share so many similar interests. We like the same foods, cheer for the same teams, have the same hobbies and most of all, have strong sex drives.
We have never been intimate and have discussed the rules at our company about dating your co-worker. Over lunch the other day, I casually mentioned the idea of threesomes. She did not miss a beat, she laughed and said I guess there is no rule concerning co-workers who participate in group sex.
I then brought up the subject of your web site. She actually went home, checked out your site and called me at home to tell me how much she liked your articles. Julie, I think she is interested in checking out a swing club. What do you think I should do?
Personally if you two are so close that you can talk about group sex and my web site, I think you will have no problem bringing up the topic of swing clubs. I suggest making it a special evening, start with a nice dinner with wine, then go to the club.
The big question is what happens if either one of you find someone to play with? Are you both comfortable with that arrangement? What if you arrive and decide to join in at the group room, make sure you both discuss this possibility before you arrive.
My advice to all new couples to the lifestyle is to set strict boundaries before you visit the club, then under no circumstances, cross those boundaries.
Good luck with your visit to the club and let me know how it goes.
If you have a question for Julie, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. If you would like to find out more on Julie's Phone sex Coaching, please visit JulieWild.com or call me at 404-806-7386 for more information.
[Find this story and more in Perfect Gentleman Magazine, the Colorado Magazine for Adults. Perfect Gentleman is a monthly magazine that combines mainstream and adult content aimed primarily at the 30 to 60-year-old age group. This glossy, full-color publication covers local and national topics from politics to adult entertainment, plus each month contains at least two full pictorials of beautiful women.]