November 21, 2004 07:16pm
Ask a Swinger: 3 Ways to Spice Up Holidays
by: Company Press Release
Swing Into the Holidays - 3 Ways To Spice Up the Holidays
With Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, we tend to focus on our family and friends. Some people report they feel very unhappy during the holidays. They even have a term "Holiday Blues." As a Sex Coach, I always remind my clients not to forget about their significant other. Maybe your New Years resolution is going to be, building a deeper more intimate relationship with your spouse. Maybe you are going to start the New Year off with a trip to a local swing club. No matter what your goal is, be sure to read this weeks letters from readers asking for advice on spicing up their relationship.
I have been married for 12 years. My husband is a great husband, dad and financial provider. He reminds me often that he feels our sex life is in need of a tune up. He is not asking for kinky sex, but he feels our sex life is becoming routine and boring. Do you have any advice?
You are not alone, in a recent survey, 75% of married men reported that a healthy, active sex life is extremely important to them, yet only 25% reported they feel they have a healthy, active sex life. This leads me to think that there is room for improvement in the bedroom.
After coaching hundreds of men, women and couples, I have found the following 5 pointers the best advice for a couple in need of a tune up.
1) Let your man know you find him attractive, flirt with him, don't be afraid to let him know you still find him sexy, even in front of his friends.
2) Lust for your husband. Let him know you enjoy life and want to experience all life has to offer. Starting tomorrow, get excited about life, sports, hobbies and of course sex. Don't be afraid to tell him you are ready to let go and get crazy. Be thrilled to talk about sex, like you would talk about skydiving minutes after landing, your heart would be racing, your adrenaline would be flowing.
3) Dress for success in the bedroom. High heels, lace, lingerie and stockings. Next time you take him out for a night on the town, wear something provocative, show some cleavage, and leave the panties at home. This will turn on most men, including your husband.
4) Make sure you communicate with your partner. Let him know what feels good and what does not. Don't be afraid to moan and scream. Most women forget to let their husband know he is turning them on. So next time, let him know loud and clear.
5) Don't forget oral sex. Men love to receive oral sex, men want a women who desires their manhood. Don't perform like it is your duty, instead think of it as the key to a happy, healthy relationship.
I want to give my husband the perfect holiday gift. We have been married for many years and he reminds me that I promised to try a threesome with him and another female many times, but it just did not happen. I want to grant him that wish, unfortunately I just don't know any single females who would be a candidate for this. Do you know how I can find someone to assist me in giving him the perfect gift?
You sound like a wonderful wife and I support you for your efforts. I have three suggestions for you. One suggestion would be to take your husband out for the night, and visit your local swing club. I personally know a great local club in your area and I am sure you would have no problem finding a third partner.
Another option might be to consider a male as the third partner. It seems to be much easier to find a male for a threesome than a female. There are several alternative lifestyle magazines and web sites that list men available for threesomes.
If he has his heart set on a female, the best option is to seek the assistance of an escort. Most escorts that I know love when a female contacts them to set up a special surprise for their spouse. For escorts in your state, visit my web directory at JoinJulie.com Good luck with your surprise and please let me know how it turns out.
Dear Coach Julie,
I am a 43 year old married man who seems to have relationship problems around the holidays. We start out fine, by New Years Eve, we are not speaking. In January, things settle down. Do you have any suggestions.
Some people become unhappy around the holidays, usually due to the emptiness caused from the loss of a loved one. If this is the problem, change how you celebrate the holidays, maybe try traveling or volunteering at a homeless shelter or food bank. This seems to cure most people when they see how unfortunate other are. Our problems seem to become very small.
If your problem is due to relationship issues, try to focus on the following. First find out what the core conflict really is, not what the symptoms show. This might require a deep conversation with your spouse.
Then find out how you can fix the problem. I always tell clients that strong marriages are built on "getting along skills" not on "negotiating skills." if you identify the problem, but choose not to do anything about removing or resolving the issue, be prepared to accept the same results.
If you have a question for Julie, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. If you would like to find out more on Julie's Phone Sex Coaching, please visit JulieWild.com or call me at 404-806-7386 for more information.
[Find this story and more in Perfect Gentleman Magazine, the Colorado Magazine for Adults. Perfect Gentleman is a monthly magazine that combines mainstream and adult content aimed primarily at the 30 to 60-year-old age group. This glossy, full-color publication covers local and national topics from politics to adult entertainment, plus each month contains at least two full pictorials of beautiful women.]