August 27, 2004 12:00am
Ask a Swinger: Hot Days - Cool Nights
by: Julie Wild
This is my favorite time of year, fall is peaking at us from around the corner. One of my favorite outdoor activities is sex. If you have never experienced outdoor sex, you need to try it. I suggest a blanket and a secure location. (You don't want to offend anyone or get arrested.)
Grab a bottle of wine and enjoy the outdoors. While we are talking about sex, here are this weeks topics. If you have a topic or question you would like me to answer, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. I personally answer all emails.
My wife masturbates during the day when I am at work. She now has started masturbating even when I am at home. We have sex almost every day. I am starting to feel like I am not enough for her or that I am doing something wrong. What do you think?
Kevin Stone Mountain GA.
Quite the reverse, your wife probably enjoys the sex with you so much that it is keeping her in the mood all the time. You should be thrilled that she has such a strong sex drive. Most men find it very erotic to watch their partners masturbate. Sit back and enjoy the show.
I work for a major communications company in the accounting department. We have several desks facing each other. We do not sit in cubicles like most companies. The problem is with my female coworker who sits across from me. I am 24 and single, she is 38 and seems to be happily married.
Since we are not in the public eye, we have a very relaxed dress code. She has always dressed a little on the seductive side, but lately it has become a problem for me. She wears low cut blouses and when she bends over to pick up something on her desk, I can't help but notice her cleavage. Yesterday she wore a short jean skirt and I noticed that she had no panties on.
I might add that everything she has is worth looking at. I am going crazy! Do you think she is interested in me? She is very nice to me, but has never verbally hinted at anything sexual. What should I do?
Scott Memphis TN.
My guess is that your coworker is an exhibitionist. She probably gets turned on by the fact that you and lots of other men are watching her. I would not pursue anything further into the relationship, just enjoy your seat assignment.
My wife and I would like to visit a clothing optional resort. We are confused since some friends have visited several clothing optional resorts but never mentioned swinging. We have visited a few swing clubs during the past few years and thought that going to a clothing optional resort would help us meet other swingers. How do we find the right resort.
Kim and Robert Tampa FL.
Dear Kim and Robert,
This is a common question that I receive. All nudists are not swingers and all swingers are not nudists. In fact most clothing optional resorts are actually family oriented. If you are looking for a club or resort, be sure to look for some mention of lifestyle friendly or alternative lifestyle welcome. If you plan to take a vacation, you might be interested in the clubs in Jamaica, since several of the large resorts in the islands are lifestyle friendly. If you contact a club or resort, please don't be afraid to ask the management what their policy is towards the alternative lifestyle. Enjoy your vacation, maybe you will take me next time.
I have always had several fantasies that I wanted to explore with my wife. Recently we attended a marriage seminar that discussed being open and honest with your spouse, making sure you tell your spouse what you want in the marriage. On the way home, my wife told me she wants me to be a cuckold husband. I looked it up on the web and became really horny thinking about watching my wife with another man.
Then she told me she has been thinking about this for a long time and never mentioned it to me since she was not sure I would approve. She even has the single guy in mind. She also wants to tie me up and put a gag on me so I can't do anything but watch. Have you ever heard of this? What do you think I should do?
Stuart Portland OR.
This is a very common fantasy by both men and women. I am glad your marriage seminar taught you both to be open and honest, that will keep your relationship strong and healthy. Many couples fantasize about this topic, but never actually experience it, others experience it without the bondage. The thrill for the man seems to be watching his wife enjoy herself without the guilt of cheating, knowing he approved of it. The thrill for the woman seems to be knowing that the love of her life is in the room watching, yet helpless to stop it or interfere. It is also based on the fact that the husband is watching another man show the couple how good he is at lovemaking.
My suggestion is to talk about it, fantasize about it, and talk about it after sex. If you both agree it is something you want to explore, give it a try and see for yourself. Often I hear back from clients that the wife loved it and wants to do it again and again, but the husbands find that it can be a little intimidating. Good luck and enjoy the fantasy.
If you have a question for Julie, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. If you would like to find out more on Julie's Phone Sex Coaching, please visit JulieWild.com for more information.