January 04, 2004 12:36am
PornoDave Michaels Covers Leave it To Cleavage
by: PornoDave Michaels
"Set Sex": Behind the Scenes on Big Top Digital's - "Leave it To Cleavage" for Boobsville.Com
It's the middle of the week, Hump Day, and I'm bored. Put in a long day in Hollywood doing Hollywood stuff and I sit down at my computer for one last email check.
Uber publicist, Jason Sechrest, from JasonCurious.com, has left me an invite to a big titty film shoot. I look at the clock, and can just make the final couple of scenes at the shoot... and the best part is, it's like 5 blocks away! A porn shoot in my own backyard. Cool!
"Leave it To Cleavage" it is called. Great, another mainstream spoof flick. Hopefully there are no incestuous scenes with the Beaver and his onscreen mom. Especially no gay Wally & Beav scenes.
I normally don't get off on these big titty shoots, cause I'm more of an ass man myself. This was more of job for my buddy John Douglas, from ThePornoReporter.com, he loves the mammary ladies. But he was out of town so I bite the bullet and took one for the team. I also heard Holly Body was gonna do a scene, and I haven't heard or seen her since I did an interview with her for our old TV series, Talking Blue. I was curious to see how she has been doing since our last visit. Last time we met she gave me a lapdance on TV and I got wood. Will I get lucky again, I go to find out.
After hitting Gelson's market for dinner and Starbuck's for some coffee, (God knows I won't eat the catered food at a porno set... something about a guy jacking off in the corner while waiting for a scene and then picking at the El Pollo Loco chicken & cold cuts) I head on over to the set.
Wow! It is right in the middle of the suburbs! High falooting suburbs too! The huge crew truck is outside and the guy waiting with the truck says to go on in, (he doesn't know me for shit) and I hook up with the director of the shoot.
The director is Robyn Powers, cute Female director for Big Top Digital. I didn't know the director was a girl and a cute one too, with pigtails and wearing tight jeans... my kind of lady. She's pretty cool and says that next scene is coming up with newcomer, Sheridan Leigh.
I make myself comfortable on the couch and a crew member comes over, "You gotta move. We are setting up to shoot a scene there." Auggg! I think I just sat in someone's DNA. The place is furnished really nice, so I wondered if the owner of the house knew "baby batter" was being splashed on his new digs. Not my problem, so I get up and step outside.
I walk into the media center of this shoot. Outside are other reporters I know from Worth-a-Million.com, HardcoreSource.com, new magazine site ExoticaMag.com & my old buddy, Luke Ford from SetGo.com
Luke says Jason is the only one who invites him to sets nowadays, which makes no sense to me. This guy, even if you hate him (Editor's Note: Luke wrote for his old website LukeFord.com... no relation now... and pissed a lot of people off with his ramblings) he has actually gotten more mainstream coverage for the adult industry then all of the adult PR firms working. They never seemed to mind when it brought them notoriety.
Lukie has a new 6 megapixel digital camera, yet still shoots shitty pictures. I said to him, "Getting that camera is like taking away a water pistol from a child and giving them a M16 rifle. Way overkill!" He says he's trying to shoot better... we'll see.
Just then, costar Ava Divine walks by. Wow! She looks great! I remember meeting her at the XRCO Awards this year and she had blonde hair and was kinda chunky, but she went brunette, got a great tan, tightened her bod, and now looks very yummy! I forget to get batteries for my tape recorder, and miss out interviewing her. Next time. Let see how she fucks!
She heads to the side room where they are setting up to film Ava and Sheridan in a Lesbo scene. The cameraman is also the assistant director, (I thought he was the director there for awhile) ex-woodsman, Steve Drake. I forgot Steve used to direct his own line for Wicked Pictures awhile back, so he is actually pretty good at this. Getting lots of coverage for his editor, which in my opinion is Very important.
Steve's job was simple... get the shot. Robyn's job was to make sure Steve got the shot with lots of boobs swinging in every scene. And why not, this is after all a Boobsville.com shoot, and they are known for their big natural titty girls getting banged up the wahzoo! Ok, Ava's tits were fake as others on the set, but most were real and big and sloppy! Just the way boob freaks like them!
"Did you get that shot Steve. I need a front shot, with lots of boobs swinging! More tits waving back and forth!" screams the director.
I watch the director as she watched the video monitor to see the scene play out. I look behind her and see male costar, and sort of the lead in this pic, Brad Baldwin, with his dick out jacking off behind the director. I'm not sure if he beating off to the scene on the monitor or to the director. I would probably do it to the director, and she doesn't even notice him stroking. That was actually a pretty interesting "scene", more than the lesbos.
A crew member walks up to me. "I remember from the old days. Didn't you loose like 100 pounds?" "73 to be exact" I reply. The crew stops watching the scene and looks at me. Even Holly Body in the corner looks around and licks her lips. Looks like I might get my chance to do a scene with some big titty chicks after all.
We all go back to watching the lesbo scene, and I'm cracking up to myself in the corner. Ava is all into the scene and cursing like a sailor every other second. "Dirty whore bandit!", "Lick that ass juice!", "Stick 4 fingers in my ass!" screams Ava.
It's starts to get a little surreal, so I head on over to make-up to see Holly Body getting ready for her big scene. She is supposed to work in a 2 couple scene, herself with Australian accented Tony Sexton, and the other couple is the Beav, Brad Baldwin and Sheridan Leigh.
Holly is getting made up and still after all these years has a kick ass body! I almost didn't notice, cause I was lusting after the makeup girl Maria... she was smoking hot! Now THAT'S the scene I wanted to see... me and her porking our brains out. Holly starts telling me all kinds of personal stuff from the past and this isn't the venue to go into details, but it looks like she is ready to give the porn industry a whirl again, so we all head into the living room for the final big scene.
Everyone takes there places, and Holly gets into character playing a girlfriend of Wally (Tony Sexton) named... Holly. No excuse to forget her character's name. Tony goes into these rants for his dialog, and every take is Totally Fucking different. I know this is porn, but dude, stick to the script. One line talks about him getting out of prison recently (recently... jeez) after mowing down children in a school zone and later getting caught jacking off in public... hope it wasn't at the same time... jacking off after killing some kids... too gross. That's a line that won't win any awards and probably be on the cutting room floor. I am kinda curios if that was adlib on Tony's part or ACTUALLY in the scrip. We may never know.
Tony tries his best at doing his dialog but keeps rambling on and on, that he starts to take on the persona of the Brad Pitt character in the movie Snatch. It starts to get incoherent and when he stays in character and calls Holly Body his "Sheila", she actually stops the shooting and says to him, "My name is Holly, not Sheila." Oh my God! They should have left the camera rolling. The best line and it wasn't in the script. Holly baby, in Australia, they call pretty girls Sheila. God I love porn!
The next best line was also off camera, when the director tells the cast after doing the blowjob scene, to go into cowgirl. Tony yells out, "Can't we eat pussy!" Director says, "You want to?" like it's something unheard of. "Yes!" the two actors yell out. Hey, I don't think they wanted to even be paid to eat these girls snatch, it was a freebie. The director wanted to move along the scene since it all was practically in real time... this was the tightest video shoot, I have ever been to in my 10 years. It moved right along. They did like 4 major sex scenes and dialog in the day, and pretty much ended at 9pm. I've been to shoots where they didn't even get around to the Shooting the first scene till 9pm. It still amazes me how people on some shoots like to dick around all day. This shoot was by far the best to get the work done and get some really hot scenes out of their performers.
I am looking forward to seeing the final product and seeing the scenes put together. All you big tit fans are gonna love this new feature from Boobsville.com & Big Top Digital.
I head on out from the set a little early to catch some zzzzzs, and totally miss out on doing my scene with Holly. Oh well, there's always next time. Until then, Happy Wanking!