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November 03, 2003 12:00am
Random Thoughts From the Trenches
Source: Dave Cummings

Random thoughts about size, loads, cheating, women, porn fans, etc. by Dave Cummings the Porn Star, Producer and Director.

How many times have we heard the debate over whether or not "size matters"? Yes, guy with enormous cocks think most woman always want huge dicks just like theirs, while those of us with what we consider regular size apparatus assume that most women want a penis that won't hurt their insides while having wild intercourse. Talk to enough sex-positive/expressive women and I'd bet we could all feed our own egos, or justify ourselves as being of an a-Ok size. My experience is that the vast majority of women prefer a penis size that's physically comfortable and sexually stimulating for them. Some females want one thing today under certain circumstances, and yet a different size at other times; likewise, they might want slow and gentle coitus some times, and hard and furious slamming other times. It's too bad we guys don't have "dial up" cocks where we can adjust out length and girth to the woman's wants and needs at the moment! Banter among men at bars, locker rooms, office water coolers, Internet chat rooms, and elsewhere seems to sometimes place an over-emphasis on the need for giant members, yet I sense that the average woman prefers approximately a six-inch cock preferably a little on the thick side (or, as porn legend Nina Hartley says, "A fat cock")! I wonder if some of the guys with baseball bat dicks get more action, or whether some women avoid them due to the physical punishment that might unintentionally occur? My advice to us average or under-endowed men is to stop worrying about our size, and instead concentrate on giving the women our total and unselfish attention so that she'll have such an enjoyable experience that she'll want us more frequently than she might want some guy who brags about and wields a massive missile. Prioritizing our own caring and attentiveness towards our significant other might be a better bet than trying penis pumps and pills? There's something to be said about sex involving thoughtful communicating, good hygiene, unhurried pre-play and caring after-play, and an inner connection with our minds/hearts/souls, not just with our sexual tool. Some of us might get more action if our personal hygiene (and a caring and thoughtful attitude) was a higher priority than our alcoholic consumption---I think that there's a fine line for many of us between drinking to lose our inhibitions enough that we'll go up to that doll at the club/bar/athletic event/etc and being able to sexually perform if/once we Do indeed get into her pants! In summary, it's my opinion that size does seem to matter (a little, and only sometimes), but it's more of a vanity thing in men's minds than it is a high priority preference among many females. Just like you won't ever find pop-ups, advertising, or email captures at my DaveCummings.com website you'll never find gimmicks for penis enhancements there either.

Ok, Ok, I know that load/ejaculate volume decreases for old farts like me as we age; and, I might therefore be rationalizing my thoughts on this matter. But, you might be somewhat surprised how we men think we have to impress our women by having volcanic-size ejaculations, yet many ladies say that they hate their hair mess and overall clean-up needed when they have sex with guys who (proudly) cover them with artillery-size blasts of cum. Could it be possible that the guys who brag about their load volume get less action because women avoid them rather than deal with the over-bothersome cum mess; same for repeat encounters once a female has had to endure a prior hosing from such guys? Do we men think that women actually want to give up the emotional closeness of after-sex so that they can unavoidably de-couple and grab a towel to soak up the massive amounts of cum oozing out of them and messing up the bed, or whatever? What's wrong with wash -cloth size cleanup needs, or tissue or baby-wipes? Bottom line-I sense that some of us men need to be much more concerned about our woman's comfort than we are about our cum-load egos. Perhaps females would be more agreeable to more frequent sex if we guys were more attentive and less vain? This leads me into my next random thought, namely "cheating".

It seems to me that many men need lots of sex, mainly physical sex, and sometimes with more than just their wife or girlfriend; but, that women seem to prefer emotional/communicative/caring/loving/sensuous and monogamous sex. Men often pester their women for more sex. Could a man who has become less caring, overweight, self-centered, doesn't adequately practice "inviting" personal hygiene, or who is more interested in television sports than his romance with his lady be driving his lady into disinterest? Could a disinterested woman, or one who has physically gone downhill, be giving her man possible reason to think that his physical-sexual needs can only be satisfied by cheating on their relationship? Is it a two-way street, or is it mostly men who cheat by visiting massage parlors, picking up prostitutes for their physical sexual satisfaction, and otherwise looking for a quick fuck? When woman cheat, I sense that they want romance, adventure, reassurance, and emotional attachment. I'd bet that there are considerably more men doing one-night (or one-hour?) stands than there are women doing likewise. Has the womanization of the business world made more business trips into opportunities for woman to cheat, just like some men have been doing for decades and decades? Divorce rates tell me that the almighty art of spousal communications and caring needs more emphasis. Cheating needs to be lessened by more closeness between couples---physically, emotionally, and sexually. Courting and caring needs to be long-term, not just to initially snag the other person. Woman are indeed equal, and we men need to start respecting their place in today's society; wives are no longer solely stay-at-home "possessions" for us guys to use! Just look at my next random thought and you'll see that women are sexual beings, too; and that they are demanding access to sexual information and stimulation just like we men do!

Lately, I've been hearing that recent surveys are showing that more and more females are surfing adult web sites. I view this as a positive for everyone. Women have sexual needs, too. I applaud their "break-out", and hope that it will lead to a healthier outlook towards sex as a natural, normal, and healthy aspect of life. No longer is the Internet an escape and sexual haven for just men. Possibly and hopefully, some women will become more sexually aggressive and outgoing. Who knows, someday it might become just as routine to discuss the past weekend's sex as it now is to talk about a movie, a new restaurant, or a book that seduced a woman for her weekend's most enjoyable activity. Welcome women; enjoy your rights and sexual freedoms; you deserve them!

I've got lots of additional "random thoughts", but I probably should keep some of them to myself lest I upset too many who disagree with me. As we head towards 2004, let's welcome sex into our lives more than we've ever previously done.

Dave Cummings

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