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PR 101: Press Release Service

Caliente Nudist Vacations!

Brea Bennett at Twistys

October 16, 2001 11:31pm
Ask Antonia Anything - You want to mail us WHAT?!
Source: Adult Industry News
by: Antonia

A note to my hot´n´horney readers: As I mentioned in my previous ¨Open Letter To Osama Bin Laden¨ I do not mean to disparage our many sexxxy readers from the Middle East who are fans of the Adult Industry. That civilization has produced a plethora of erotic classics such as the ¨1001 Nights¨ and ¨The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayam¨. It is a beautiful culture that has been hijacked by a very sick minority of Koran miss-quoting hypocrates who are obviously in need of some serious tension release.

WELL! Now that I've gotten THAT of my chest, I am going to follow President Bush's advice and get on with my daily routine. Let's see what the virtual mailbag brought us:

Timing is everything, please note the Date and the nature of this request and make up your own minds-

Subject: What is your postal address?
Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2001 18:14:21 -0700 (PDT)
From: Joe Cramer redacted@neomason.com>
To: support@ainews.com
Hello,
What is your postal address? I couldn't seem to find it on your website. Thanks!
Joe Cramer

Dear Joe,
Thank you for your request but we are not interested in receiving any unsolicited shipments of Anthrax in the mail. If there is a change in our policy, I will get back to you.
With Love,
Antonia

[We only accept submissions by e-mail. -Ed.]

And this…..

AHMED (address redacted)@yahoo.ca> wrote
To: ANTONIA@AINEWS.COM
HI ANTONIA,
I AM MEDO KHIRY FROM EGYPT I WANT TO BE FRIENDS. YOU MY E MAIL<redacted@YAHOO.CA> REPLY ME SOON

Dear Ahmed,
I´ll get back to you.
With Love,
Antonia

Finally this:

Abdullah at (redacted)@hotmail.com wrote the following....
Hi ...I have a problem in browsing with the sexy sites since my government blocked these sites and I need the help of you 2 send me such a surfing programs that allows me to enter these sites in safe with any probleming with blocking tech.....since also the surfing sites are also blocked

Dear Abdullah,
I´ll get back to you.
With Love,
Antonia

Go Figure….
At last, someone with a legitimate interest in the subject matter of this magazine:

rado at rado@redacted.com wrote the following....
Greetings from the Philippines. :)
I like your site very much. Very informative site about the porn industry and its performers. Anyway, can I request for you guys to do an April Flowers interview? Something like what you did with such beauties like Danni Ashe, Juli Ashton, etc. I'm sure you know that Ms. April Flowers is fast becoming a sensation and sex superstar and we April fans would sure like to know more of this nasty beauty. Okay, that's it for now. Hoping for your kind consideration and response/action. Stay cool and more power to you guys!
Cheers,
RADO

Thank you Rado my love, I will pass your request on to my editor (the stud muffin Mr. Steve Nelson). In the mean time you can find her videos at www.gamelink.com. [See the link in the Services Section. -Ed.]

The following missive was sent to me from a professor at a very well known institute of higher learning. Boy, I wish some of my college professors had been so enlightened.

Brian (name redacted) at (address redacted). edu wrote the following....

Hi,
I am giving an informative speech in two weeks on the keys to success in production of feature length adult films and would like to have some input from the adult film industry. What I am looking for is a sort of baseline industry standard required to produce successful film. If you could answer some of the following questions, it would be of great help.

1. List some of the bare necessities required for a successful film.
Answer: The Money Shot

2. Is there a secret ingredient that makes your pictures top-notch? If
so, please explain.
Answer: The Money Shot

3. Which genre of adult film does your company find most appealing to
the consumer?
Answer: Ones that have lots of Money Shots

4. What are the three most important aspects that go into the
production of a successful film?
Answer: Money Shots, Money Shots, and Money Shots.

5. What qualities does an exclusive high-quality porn star possess?
Answer: The ability to deliver the Money Shot on command.

6. And lastly, what makes an excellent producer/director?
Answer: See Above.

Thanks in advance for your input,

No problem Professor! But please don't ask me to explain what that term means in front your entire class.

Wow Guys check this out! A letter from someone in the ¨Legit¨ world!

Derek at (redacted)@hearst.com wrote the following....

My name is Derek and I work for Esquire magazine in New York. We have a monthly column entitled "Answer Fella" and we have a question from a reader this month that we thought someone at your organization might help us answer. The question is about X-ratings. X vs. XX vs. XXX. I was hoping someone over there could give me a call or send me an email.
Thanks
Derek
Esquire Magazine

Dear Derek,
Thank you for your inquiry regarding the lexicon of Porn terminology. This is a frequently asked question and I am glad to have the opportunity to answer it. The definition is simple: If the copy writer presses the X key lightly on the keyboard then the video will have an X rating. A little longer then it becomes a XX rating, and finally longer than that you will have a triple-XXX rating.
I hope this answers your question.
Respectfully,
Antonia
Resident Columnist
Adult Industry News
antonia@ainews.com

[X = softcore like girl/girl, XXX = penetration visable. -Ed.]

What they lack in experience they make up for in enthusiasm:

Jason at (redacted)@ssubrew.com wrote the following....
I was looking for job offers on your site.. I couldn't find any. Am I missing it, or don't you have available job listings? Thanks in advance for your assistance...

Mel at (redacted)@hotmail.com wrote the following....
Do you have any job openings and where do I apply?

Yes fellas your wish is granted, I am currently interviewing interns to administer foot massages to me and the entire staff of AINews. Your other job descriptions will include carrying us on your shoulders, getting us coffee, and falling to your knees in obedience whenever you are in our presence. Any takers?

Brigham Young must be doing summersaults in his grave:

Mark at (redacted)@dialmark.com wrote the following....
I want to find out some more info on the AI biz. Do you know of anything in the Utah area I might contact.

Jeez, I didn't realize Salt Lake City was such a hot bed of activity. Think we could get the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to perform the ¨mood music¨?

I don't know why I got the following letter but I thought it was cute.

Subject: couches
Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2001 07:56:43 -0700
From: "desi (redacted)@mediaone.net>
Anyone know of anyone getting rid of or selling some couches/love seats?
Best regards,
Desi

Dear Desi, try Salt Lake City, I hear there are a lot of discarded casting couches up there.

Monica Lewinsky beware, Bugge is looking for you:

Bugge at (redacted)@excite.com wrote the following....

Hi all!!I"m looking for e-mail addresses and homepages for bbw-pornstars. Do you
know where I can find these?
By the way, your site is great!!!
Thank you
Bugge

Sure thing Bugge, it's nice to have something to hold on to. Try www.rubenesquegoddess.com you will not be disappointed.


Finally I would like to address this to the many people who write expressing an interest in working behind the camera. Elegant Angel is sponsoring a contest in which the winner will have the opportunity to direct their own video. For all of you X-rated Steven Speilbergs out there, this is a unique opportunity. For more information read the press release by clicking on the link www.ainews.com/story/2247/

Say, do you think they will let me direct an Osama Bin Laden snuff film? Just asking. That's all for now, in the mean time behave, if not be discreet.

With Love,
Antonia

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