January 16, 2012 06:35pm
From the Trenches 1/12
Source: Dave Cummings — Hall of Fame Porn Star
by: Dave Cummings
Sex! There, I said the most important word expected to be included in a monthly column written by a porn star. Now, I feel free to go into a rambling bunch of unrelated stuff.
The continuous piracy is such that there's not much sex to write about, unless it's about self-masturbation, or swinging, or porn, or other areas that folks contact me about via email, in person, or via my davecummingsinfo site. Men, women, and couples ask personal questions and reveal a lot about their personal sex lives (did you notice that word again----sex) in conversations.
One of my younger brothers is a Psychologist, but I'm merely just a porn star, so I do a lot of listening and nodding of my head as I try to channel them into telling themselves the answer that they knew applied to them all along, but wanted to hear it from me like it was validation from an old fogey with lots of sexual experience and some worldly exposure. I enjoy counseling them, and getting them to think about things they might otherwise not consider.
Many guys seem like they need to pat themselves on the back by telling me about their latest conquests, while others are worried about the sex part of their love lives, or there "alone" sex life. It's tough when they interrupt me while eating in a restaurant and my food gets cold, or at a place like a brewery where I am with friends or relatives. Yes, some guys voluntarily suggest that I subsequently join them and their lady for a threesome, so I shouldn't complain about my breakfast eggs getting cold when I'm recognized and asked questions. Being a gentlemanly porn star has some innate benefits with couples, especially swingers or couples turned on by their fantasies about possibly venturing into it.
Women seem to want validation from me that their view of sex is normal, and that their looks are still such that they can get a porn star sexually turned on. I try not to hurt feelings, but I also need to be objective and honest with them. Some women want to show me their bodies, and get my opinion about their looks and sex skills. Admittedly, these are not usually 10s, but rather are usually divorcees and MILF/cougar women.
Couples often want to see if I think they would be "popular" at swinger parties; others want to know more about swinging etiquette and rules, and how things happen at parties. I've been in swinging for 27 years, and can usually anticipate their questions and follow-on questions to my answers, and their need to chat and listen to my thoughts about jealousy, communications, and the difference between having sex and making love.
I sense that I do a lot of good for people with my "consulting" knowledge and experience. It's nice to see folks enjoying sex, not dodging it because of concerns about how others might think of them. I never use my sex "consulting" or conversations to initiate sex (nice word, huh?), but I certainly am making up for the piracy dampening of sex at porn shoots. By not being pushy, a lot of sex seems to come my way.
More and more, I see people accepting and enjoying sex as a natural and normal part of life. Single woman and couples are venturing more and more into the world of sex. They seem like they no longer will be held back by anyone's opinion. I wholeheartedly applaud them, and respect them.
Next week I will be in Las Vegas for the annual Adult Entertainment Expo; I'll brief you about it in next month's column. I expect I might see the ill effects of piracy clashing with individual thirst to be free of opinions against sex.