As a columnist, I love reading letters from those that have opinions to express. Below you will find a contradictory letter that I received from a gentleman that is an "occasional customer" at a local strip bar in Detroit. His focus on issues in an earlier article: Exotic Dancing or Prostitution---Where Do We Draw The Line? I believe he composed this while straddling a fence!

"Dear Rose Garten,

I as an occasional customer at the local strip bar in Detroit understand where the women are coming from. It should be totally unacceptable for any man to go to one of these clubs and expect anything other than entertainment. Touching a woman at all without her expressed consent should have a customer thrown out on their rear end without any explanation because it is disrespect to the dancer. However, I feel that when a dancer expects for a gentleman to tip exceptionally well, and spend his hard earned money for simply dancing on a stage is a little double-sided.

Dancers want to make a lot of money for what they do, and customers want to spend their money on worthwhile entertainment. If the dancer wants to do minimum work for maximum tips she should be open minded. Customers aren't just looking to GIVE their money away.

I respect the desires of dancers if they do not want to be touched or do not want any physical involvement with me. However, if they actually give me a lap dance (you know they call it that for a reason), and don't mind light touching, I will be more than happy to tip them extra.

Exotic dancers are in an industry where "sex sells". Why else would a man want to see a woman topless, so if you want to be technical the minute she takes off her clothes she has sexually gratified a man, where is the prestige in that period.

If a woman wants a prestigious job she should go to college and get an education so that she can work her ass off to get where she wants to go in life.

Otherwise, people shouldn't knock strippers and call them "prostitutes" because they add a little something extra for extra tips, people should just take pride in what they do and how they represent the profession and their own personal convictions. From: Ghstdg01"

Rose Garten: What in the hell is that all about? I have whiplash! He obviously struggles to make a point. Nice guy? Perhaps, but now I'm confused! Advocate for exotic dancers/strippers? I don't think so!

Well, the only way to unravel conflicting statements is to read the letter again, step back, read between the lines, and answer each sentence accordingly.

Ghstdg01: "I as an occasional customer at the local strip bar in Detroit understand where the women are coming from."

Rose Garten: Occasional customer? For some reason I have a feeling that you go to the local strip bar in Detroit more than you want to admit. Regardless of how often you patronize this establishment, I know you don't understand anything about where the women (exotic dancers/strippers) are coming from! Have you ever danced for eight hours on six-inch stilettos? Have you ever tried to smile and act sexy while wearing anal floss underwear? Have you ever picked up tips with your butt cheeks? Have you ever listened to endless comments from customers that say shit that you'd rather not hear? NO! I don't think so!

Ghstdg01: "It should be totally unacceptable for any man to go to one of these clubs and expect anything other than entertainment. Touching a woman at all without her expressed consent should have a customer thrown out on their rear end without any explanation because it is disrespect to the dancer. However, I feel that when a dancer expects for a gentleman to tip exceptionally well, and spend his hard earned money for simply dancing on a stage is a little double-sided."

Rose Garten: I believe what you meant to say was "one-sided"---and the last sentence proves to me that you're not sincere about the two preceding sentences! What a dancer expects? Pardon me? What does the gentleman expect for his exceptional tip when he goes into a strip bar filled with exotic dancers/strippers? Are you saying that seeing naked women "simply dancing on a stage" is not enough? Oh I forgot---you believe your hard-earned money changes everything! The dollars you earn are worth more than the dollars earned by exotic dancers/strippers. Now, let me see if I understand you correctly. Your superior philosophy and value that you place on your money allows you to pass judgment and set job descriptions for exotic dancers/strippers. That's interesting! I wonder if they would agree with you?

Ghstdg01: "Dancers want to make a lot of money for what they do, and customers want to spend their money on worthwhile entertainment. If the dancer wants to do minimum work for maximum tips she should be open minded. Customers aren't just looking to GIVE their money away."

Rose Garten: I totally agree with you on the first sentence, and the customer should expect worthwhile entertainment. Remember you are paying for ENTERTAINMENT, not the right to have your way with the performer! I think you need to educate yourself about the art of exotic dance/striptease before you make a statement about "minimum work for maximum tips" and that the dancer should be open minded. Open minded? Excuse me? Yes, let the dancer expose her breasts, ass, heart and soul---but above all she must keep an open mind and smile while she accepts a single dollar for letting your hands glide over her body! I'll say this again---this is the same dollar you give a waitress for bringing a drink! The additional flame that "Customers aren't just looking to GIVE their money away" is a bit harsh and presumptuous. Pardon me? Did the dancer walk out the front door and drag the customer into the strip bar? I think not! Can you speak for every customer?

Even though you're making abrasive comments---I'll help you with the definition of exotic dancer, exotic dance, stripteaser, striptease and other information. Obviously ignorance has biased your opinion.

A hint from Rose: I thought I'd mention that the terms Exotic Dancing and Exotic Dancer do not appear in Webster's Dictionary---even though Exotic Dancing is listed under the term Exotic. I'd also like to point out that Stripteaser and Striptease are not to be confused with Strip-pleaser or Strip-please! Emphasis should be placed on the word TEASE! Yes, a word that you have forgotten!

Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary: http://www.m-w.com/

1Ex·ot·ic - Pronunciation: ig-'zä-tik
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin exoticus, from Greek exOtikos, from exO
Date: 1599
1: introduced from another country: not native to the place where found
2 archaic: FOREIGN, ALIEN
3: strikingly, excitingly, or mysteriously different or unusual
4: have or relating to striptease <exotic dancing>
- ex·ot·i·cal·ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb
- ex·ot·ic·ness /-tik-n&s/ noun

2 Exotic Function: noun Date: 1645 1: one (as a plant or animal) that is exotic 2: STRIPTEASER

Strip·teas·er: Pronunciation: -'strip-"tE-z&r Function: noun Date: 1930: one who performs a striptease

Striptease: Pronunciation: 'strip-"tEz Function: noun Date: 1936: a burlesque act in which a performer removes clothing piece by piece

ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA states that: "Dance is the movement of the body in a rhythmic way, usually to music and within a given space, for the purpose of expressing an idea or emotion, releasing energy, or simply taking delight in the movement... © 1999-2000 Britannica.com Inc. http://www.britannica.com/


THE STRIPPER AS SEXUAL IDEAL (Lengthened version of my presentation at the UCLA Conference on Burlesque as a Social Phenomenon, 1993, highlighting the strip show portions of my dissertation) by Tara Maginnis, Ph.D. http://www.costumes.org/pages/stripper.htm "Strip shows are usually fairly honestly acknowledged as a form of entertainment designed to sexually arouse men with the visual representation of suitable sex objects.1 By showing beautiful girls in a stylized representation of the acts leading up to sexual intercourse (disrobing and caressing the body) as well as stylized "bumps" and "grinds" which evoke the sex act itself, it completely distracts the audience from the fact than no actual sex is taking place on stage. Strip shows are the idea of sex divorced from the action itself and so represent a kind of idealized sex."

Ghstdg01: "I respect the desires of dancers if they do not want to be touched or do not want any physical involvement with me. However, if they actually give me a lap dance (you know they call it that for a reason), and don't mind light touching, I will be more than happy to tip them extra."

Rose Garten: It is every dancers human right to refuse physical interaction with a customer, if she chooses to exercise it!

Lap dance (*This term is not found in Webster's Dictionary): Grinding and rubbing rhythmically with buttocks on the customer's lap and genitals to arouse, stimulate, and in some cases sexually satisfy. A method of erotic massage (sexual stimulation) performed by exotic dancers/strippers.

Is lap dancing legal? Could it be classified as a form of prostitution? This varies from state to state, and in local communities. We should remember "clean-up" policies have been occurring since the 1960's. So, tell me why you think your philosophy will make a difference.

Yes, I know exactly what a lap dance is and what some customers think that it should be! How many times have you experienced a lap dance that was less than your money's worth?

Have you ever wondered who thought lap dancing would be a great idea? Probably not, but I'll tell you anyway! My educated guess is that it was a club owner that needed more money in his pocket! Yes, sure the dancer gets some of that money, but not all of it!

Light touching---maybe you should clarify this term! Are you talking about holding hands, stroking the arm, shoulder, or leg of the dancer? I have a feeling that you think you deserve a little more! Does light touching include placing your hands or mouth on a dancer's breasts or bottom? Maybe you aren't satisfied with that! Perhaps lightly touching a dancer's genital region, or vice versa is money well spent!

Take heed my friend, club raids can occur anywhere!

Ghstdg01: "Exotic dancers are in an industry where "sex sells". Why else would a man want to see a woman topless, so if you want to be technical the minute she takes off her clothes she has sexually gratified a man, where is the prestige in that period."

Rose Garten: You have answered your own question! I'll add some icing to your words and I hope they'll taste a little better when you chew on them the second time around!

Technical? No, not at all! I say, when she removes her costume, and that simple act sexually gratifies a man is elementary! It only proves that some men are uncomplicated creatures and are easily pleased. I'm certain once she does that---your wallet jumps right out of your pocket! Aren't you thankful that the club owner designed that club with you, your predictable behavior, and your "hard-earned money" in mind? Where is the prestige in that?

Well, I feel that you probably gain lots of self-esteem tipping an erotic woman to dance for you, a beautiful woman that wouldn't give you the time of day otherwise! Yes, she listens to degrading statements that naturally spew from your lips, and she's probably thrilled that you lightly touch her while you hand over that hard-earned money! Gosh, that is such an easy job!

Now would you like to discuss sarcasm?

Ghstdg01: "If a woman wants a prestigious job she should go to college and get an education so that she can work her ass off to get where she wants to go in life."

Rose Garten: Well damn! I'm so glad that a chunk of wisdom fell out of your Neanderthal skull! I really don't know what exotic dancers/strippers would do without customers like you to remind them that they can't think for themselves---FALSE! Now, would you like to know the truth? Oh hell, why should I tell you? It's obvious that you didn't comprehend the article. I doubt if reading it again would make an impact, you're obviously too busy counting all that hard-earned money while you fondle and look down your nose at the women in this industry!

Ghstdg01: "Otherwise, people shouldn't knock strippers and call them "prostitutes" because they add a little something extra for extra tips, people should just take pride in what they do and how they represent the profession and their own personal convictions."

Rose Garten: Thanks for sharing that last statement, but after close examination of your letter, the words are empty and meaningless. The statement above only confirms that you are prostituting exotic dancers/strippers when they perform "extras" for extra tips.

I'll give you credit for taking the time to express your opinion. I think that deserves something special. I'll honor you with Rose Garten's Prestigious Prick Award---you've earned it! Just click on the link below and print your award and be the envy of all of your friends and loved ones!

Thanks for reminding me---In a garden filled with roses we have to be wary of pricks!

X's and O's,
Rose Garten
rosegarten@ainews.com