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Kayden Kross at Twistys

April 01, 2010 01:30am
April Fools in Washington
Source: sweN yrtsudnI tludA
by: Steve Nelson

Why does April Fools Day come two weeks before the tax deadline? It's a really good joke, but seeing how this past year saw auto bailouts, bank bailouts, housing bailouts, and the healthcare bill, I don't think I'll get to it!

Our government is no longer controlled by ''We the People''! Regardless of your political party or philosophy, our elected officials are fighting amongst each other, keeping us in the dark, and feeding us bullshit. The average American resents being treated like a mushroom, hence we have granola groups forming (filled with flakes, nuts) like the Tea Party (conservatives), the Coffee Party (liberals), and the Milk Party (children). And sometimes if they can't get a sitter you will see Coffee with a little Milk. Tea with lemon is tasty but too sour for my palate.

Adding up all the money squandered to the fat cats in charge of housing, banks, car companies and the like, you would think some of it would tinkle down on the average American, wouldn't you? I've been waiting to get tinkled on like Congress promised, but it appears all we are getting is crap from the poo dispensers in office! America is looking up like a young bird waiting for a worm, Tweeting loudly, they are starving for change, but I haven't seen my food stamps increase lately.

And I'm SO glad the health insurance bill passed! Where do I get my insurance? How much will it cost me now? Where do I find out? Both sides of that debate claim we Americans want what they are fighting for, but honestly, no one has bothered to explain to ME exactly what in that bill is going to help me get my health insurance back. It sure is costing a lot of money, so some of that will help me get a checkup soon, right?

But don't worry, taxes will pay for it. When I was rich I paid my fair share, and will again once the economy turns around. Right now, though, my bills have been exceeding my income so I won't be able to send in a whole lot to Uncle Sam this April 15th. I'm glad, however, the government assures it will take care of all of us! We are in good hands when those hands can give you a back rub, a reach-around, and pick your pocket at the same time. At least the government, when they bend you over and screw your ass, will have on a mandatory condom.

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