December 30, 2009 11:56am
Convention Capers
Source: Cinema Seen By William Margold
by: William Margold
By the time that you are reading this…I will be will deeply involved in the activities related to something known as the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo 2010 (www.AdultEntertainmentExpo.com).
In fact…I have ventured up to Las Vegas each January since 1989 to creatively coordinate a booth, and to promote an endless stream of fundraising objects (ranging from image and slogan t-shirts to posters and calendars to anti- censorship statement adorned stuffed animals) for an equally endless stream of adult entertainment industry organizations.
And in the process, I have always managed to lure beautiful and extremely eager ''volunteers'' from the adult industry’s talent ranks to help me ''fun''d-raise monies for whatever organization I was representing at the time. To that extant, I have established a record of consistency that is reflected by the look on the faces of countless adult entertainment industry fans that smile when they see me each and every year.
Providing such a comfort makes me feel like an eternal Gladiator perpetually battling against the armies of ignorant enemies who are desirous of destroying my XXX-rated world.
The irony here is that I also find myself in constant battle with the pathetic prattle from egregious entities that skulk about within the very world that I am striving to defend. These sniveling self-serving slugs include a gaggle of Journalistus Jerkus, a flock of Feminist Flatulentis, a herd of Activess Greedius, and the most odious of them all, a batch of Lawyeris Lamentablists.
The pictures sprinkled liberally throughout this column hopefully reflect my activities (and partners in same) over the last two decades…commencing with my endeavors for the Adult Video Association. It was for the AVA that I created (in 1991) the legendary ''Fighting for Your Freedom'' poster. And when that group evolved into the Free Speech Coalition at the end of 1992, I came up with a t- shirt emblazoned with the Flag Raising image. However, firmly adhering to the concept that ''Those who rest on their laurels wind up with thorns in their ass(es)''…I enriched my t-shirt offerings with a style heralding one of my most controversial quotes: ''If the censors get rid of ‘God Damn’…then they’ll get rid of God…next!'' But without a doubt, to the point that I was eventually encouraged to sign it, my most famous quote was dominate for well over a decade on t-shirts stating that, ''In a society that is drug-infested, violence wracked and polluted by chemical greed…no one has ever died from overdose of Pornography.''
Next up were the immensely popular ''Anti-Censorship Critters.'' And it should be obvious which kind of animal went with ''Censorship is Unbearable,'' ''Censorship is Hogwash,'' Censorship is for Jackasses,'' and ''Censorship Stinks.''
While the AVA and the FSC were consumed, sometimes to the point of stagnation, with matters considerably more related to the First Amendment as well as the business (trade) of X…I decided that two other factions needed representation, and therefore I created the Fans of X-Rated Entertainment (FOXE) in 1989 and Protecting Adult Welfare (www.pawfoundation.org) in 1994.
And it will be at the PAW booth where you will be able to find me (AEE 2010 runs from January 7-10 in the Sands Expo Center), always ready…and ever willing… to preach my unique form of the Gospel of X which includes raising the age of hardcore performers to 21, the creation of a ''Porn Tax'' (essentially joining Alcohol, Tobacco and Gambling as ''the fourth prong on the Devil’s pitchfork,'' and in return, gaining a certain amount of sociological respectability), and proclaiming, as I did to the Meese Commission in 1985, ''that if you leave us (the adult entertainment industry) alone, it most likely will destroy itself. But if you come after us, it will band together…and it will fight back.''
However, certain previously alluded to inept adult industry news writers and avaricious spokespeople within X are only able to regurgitate the first part of my preceding statement.
And by doing so, they continue to magnify the fact that they are as fat-assed…as they are half-witted.
Indeed!
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