September 21, 2009 04:21pm
Batman's Belfry: Ricky Rich Brutally Attacked
Source: Adult Industry News
by: Tony Batman
(WISCONSIN) -- The night was like any other night in the life of Ricky Rich. He Finished his day work, then headed out to the clubs to take pictures of the beauty that is Wisconsin, the Wisconsin strip club dancer. Ricky does Wisconsin and all that is Wisconsin. Do you remember the national news from the Wisconsin state fair? Ricky Rich has taken us all to that same state fair. If it’s in Wisconsin he has it covered for the A! Entertainment News.
Ricky Rich has shot women in different areas of the country, he has been front and center with his photo journalistic duties in Las Vegas, Hollywood, Los Angeles, Miami, Houston, Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Chicago and Denver... But his main duty, the projects that drive him to get it right, the place he really wants to make it happen, is Wisconsin.
Now we can almost hear the whispers in the background, ''That makes him a cheese head, does he like cheese a lot?'' Those fun quips are probably in your mind right now. Well let me tell those who would call names like cheese head, or Green Bay fudge packer, let me tell you that Ricky Rich does love cheese, he eats pounds of it weekly, and he even eats those curds by the bag. What you never heard of curds? How can you make fun of something if you don’t truly understand it? There is more in Wisconsin than cheese, people…
Ricky not only eats pounds of Wisconsin Cheese but he takes in tons of red meat. Ricky Rich once stopped at an Arby’s in Indiana and bought a bag of roast beef so big it ate its way out of the bag and into his lap before we got back to the hotel. In Chicago I once saw Ricky throw vegetables off of his plate to make more room for his steak sauce. ''Don’t clutter my steak plate with all this F*^%ing green stuff,'' he said loudly in the meat chop shop restaurant.
The other night as Ricky was driving home from an awesome Wisconsin Strip club he was attacked out of nowhere on the highway. At this time we are not sure if he was singled out because of his red meat eating ways or if it was a random attack, but the fact remains that he was targeted, and attacked.
Ricky’s car was damaged to the tune of $3000 and the haunting smell of deer spit is still in the interior of that same car. Yes, Ricky Rick was brutally attacked by a huge deer since named by investigators as ''Bucky Ram''. After an in depth investigation and several reenactments of the incident this is what we have to report to the general public:
Approximately 1:30am Ricky Rich was traveling home on Lonely Road when he inadvertently entered the domain, Turf, Block, of one ''Bucky Ram''. As Ricky was driving through Bucky’s turf the hostile deer ran as fast as he could toward Ricky’s vehicle. Rich having one of his several ''Your Killing Me Ricky'' moments was not looking to the side and Bucky Ram ran right into Ricky’s car causing huge damage to the front quarter panel and the driver’s side door. The impact completely broke off the mirror and as Bucky Rammed into Ricky’s vehicle his momentum carried him halfway into the driver’s side window.
So there he was face to face, eye to eye, with one pissed off Bucky Ram. Ricky Rich being the quick thinker that he is, thought to himself, ''What the hell, why are you ramming me, I’m just going to keep driving and drag you along until you fall out of my car or one of us is going to die.''
The scene was a scary one as Ricky looked right into the eye of Bucky Ram, but Ricky being in this same situation before (this stuff happens to Ricky all the time) thought, ''If this deer dies I’m eating him, (they make for great tasting steaks) if not we are going to have one hell of a fight here''.
We are assuming that Bucky Ram had no idea that he was dealing with a cheese eating red meat stuffing professional in Ricky Rich. Bucky Ram the deer snorted a few times as his head and upper body was lodged in the driver’s window of the car and then he fell out and rolled a few times on the highway.
There was that after accident silence and then after a few seconds passed, Bucky Ram the pissed off deer protecting his turf got up, stared at Ricky one more time and limped off into the Wisconsin woods.
There was a clear winner in this turf battle, and his name was Ricky Rich.
Ricky Rich drove home and called us here at the A! Entertainment News saying something to the effect of those pictures of the dancers not being worth it tonight and then hung up. The next day the damaged vehicle was taken to the shop, and is currently being repaired, and hopefully professionally cleaned to get the urine smell out of the seats, who’s urine is in the seats we had to ask Ricky Rich in a second phone call. Ricky simply stated ''Click,,,,,,,,,,,,dial tone……………….''
The next time you eat some red meat think of Ricky Rich and Bucky Ram, the battle to survive in nature is an everlasting one.
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