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Porn for GEEKS! Meet me & my friends!

Eva Angelina at Twistys

May 18, 2008 04:28pm
MWA: Taya Parker, Sunny Lane
Source: Adult Industry News
by: Myles Shaffer

Myles' Weekend Adventures: Bonjour mon amis! Comment ca va? Myles Shaffer here. Before I begin the discussion of beautiful women, I have a story to tell. Now, I have thought long and hard about whether or not I should tell this tale. I have finally decided to tell it, but I will withhold the name of the feature dancer, the club, and the date and time to protect the innocent.

During a show just this year, a feature I know, after she was nude on stage, began putting small amounts of whipped cream on her body and placing cherries in the whipped cream. She then began offering to allow the tip rail customers to remove the whipped cream and the cherries with their mouths for five dollars.

When she came to a pair of Hispanic hombres, she asked the first one if he would like to partake of the dessert for a five. (I might mention that these two fools had only put up four or five one dollar bills between them during the entire show.) when he said no, the feature smiled, said, ''No?,'' and started to back away. At that moment, the D J asked, ''Whatís the matter buddy? Donít you have any money?'' At that time, the worthless waste of human flesh said to the feature, ''I have money, just not for you!'' Now it gets good. The feature did not get angry. Instead, she smiled, said, ''No?'', smiled again, and, ''accidentally,'' unloaded about half of a large can of whipped cream all over the jerkís face and shirt. (She didn't get angry, she got even!)

Talk about a bad look! It is a good thing that looks canít really kill, or my friend would be dead! (Mr. Disrespectful Macho Man and his buddy had stormed out of the club before the show had even ended. And good riddance I say.

Mr. Disrespectful Macho Man learned something any country boy or girl could have told him. If you mess with the bull, you will eventually get the horns!

Yes, there are many people who will feel that the feature should not have doused the Neanderthal with whipped cream. I, on the other hand, have been waiting for years to see some disrespectful cretin get what he so desperately deserved. And, I couldnít have enjoyed the experience any more if I had tried.

Always remember people; do not disrespect my ladies. You might regret it later. It might even cost you a serious cleaning bill. Now then, let us move on to the discussion of gorgeous woman!

Taya Parker

Thursday, May 8Th, I went to the Rio Gentlemenís Club to spend the evening with Taya Parker. For once, I arrived early enough to observe her first show of the evening, and it is a good thing I did. For a number of reasons, the club decided to not have Taya perform anymore shows on this night. She performed an extra show on another night to make up for only having one show during this particular evening.

At the start of the one show she performed on this night, Taya wore a straw cowboy hat and sparkling bracelets on both wrists. She also wore a dark blue sleeveless, low cut, top. The top was decorated with lines of red trim in the neck area and was covered with red sequins, also in the neck area. The top also had a small confederate battle flag on the back. (I believe the flag was made with red, white, and blue sequins, if I remember correctly.) Next, Taya wore a pair of very short, dark blue, shorts that were trimmed with lines of red sequins. Beneath the top, she wore a red bra that was covered with red sequins. The breast cups were decorated with blue fringe. Beneath her shorts, Taya wore a red thong that was also decorated with red sequins. To finish out the costume, she wore a pair of red, stiletto-heeled, shoes.

Taya performed this show to Gretchen Wilsonís, ''Redneck Woman,'' Gwen Stefaniís ''Hollaback Girl,'' ''Black Velvet,'' and Garth Brooksí, ''Ain't Going Down ('Til the Sun Comes Up),'' in that order.

There were two versions of, ''Black Velvet,'' getting radio play about the same time back in 1990. The first to hit the airways was Canadian rocker Alannah Myles' rock and roll recording. In a very short period of time, a lady named Robin Lee recorded a country version of the song. Ms. Lee's version hit number twelve on the country music charts.

Even though Taya and I discussed her usage of, ''Black Velvet,'' in her show, my memory is now a bit foggy. However, I do believe that it was Alannah's recording that Taya used in her show. (Oddly enough, I seem to remember the local country music station I listened to at the time playing both versions of the song. My memory must be right, because I had not willing listened to rock stations in decades. So how else would I have ever heard Alannah's recording?)

Getting back to Taya's show, she handed out photos to all of the tip rail patrons toward the end of the show. She also did a body lotion bit before leaving the stage.

Taya Parker is a great feature dancer, one who is not to be missed! Her costumes are always appealing and her shows entertaining.

Also, Taya is a beautiful woman who stands five feet tall in her bare feet, and weighs ninety-two pounds. Measuring 32DD-22-32, Taya has a perfect hour glass figure.

Taya is a very nice, friendly, lady who loves to meet and chat with her fans. She is also a great conversationalist, and a great friend to those of us who know her personally. (Taya is also very easy to become friends with, if a person treats her right.)

Sunny Lane

Friday, May 9Th, I drove up to the North Hollywood Déjà Vu Club to spend some time with Sunny Lane and to observe two of her shows. I had intended to catch all three of her shows, but several factors caused me to arrive too late to see her first show. However, I did find her still doing her signing; therefore, I was able to chat with her for a little while.

To start her second show, the first that I was able to observe, Sunny performed her, ''Support the Troops,'' show, for lack of a better name, my lack of a better name, not Sunnyís.

For this show, Sunny wore pair of medium-sized hoop earrings and a quite sexy version of a Navy officer's dress white uniform. The costume consisted of a white military-style cap trimmed with gold sequins and a black bill, a white top and white knee length shorts. The top had gold buttons, gold epaulets on the shoulders, a small American flag over the left breast, and was decorated with gold sequins. The shorts were decorated with gold sequins and had a stripe about one inch wide, made of gold sequins, down the outside seam of each leg. Each leg of the shorts had a long zipper for easy removal. Beneath her, ''uniform,'' Sunny wore a matching bra and a matching thong. The thong had an anchor symbol in the front that was made of gold sequins. For footwear, Sunny wore a pair of clear plastic, spike-heeled, shoes that had so much gold glitter embedded in them, they at first appeared to be a solid gold in color.

Sunny ended this show with a game of cooter ball for posters and a DVD.

Ms. Lane opened this show with an instrumental version of the U.S. Navy song, ''Anchors Away.'' She then followed up with rock numbers that included Janet Jacksonís, ''Nasty Girl.''

After Sunnyís opening song began playing, I was diligently watching for her appearance on the stage, when suddenly there she was beside me placing a small American flag into my shirt pocket. To open this show, instead of coming out onto the stage, she instead came out onto the floor and went around the stage giving one of those small flags to each of the tip rail customers. Then she mounted the stage and began dancing. (I am now of the belief that Sunny began all of her shows during this particular weekend by coming onto the floor to affectionately play with some of the customers before mounting the stage.)

Until Sunny had stripped down to her lovely skin, her dancing amounted to a modification of marching. Let me say here and now, that was the first time in my life that marching ever looked sexy!

For her final show of the evening, Sunny performed her, ''Nurse,'' show. Her costume for this show consisted of a white nurseís cap with a white cross within a red ball in the front and a short white nurseís dress with a white cross within a red ball over the left breast. (the dress zipped up the front for easy removal.) when starting the show, Sunny also had a stethoscope hanging around her pretty little neck. Beneath her dress, Sunny wore a white bra that had a white cross inside of a red ball on each breast cup. The bra also had red tie strings. Also beneath the dress was a pair of panties that were red in the back and white in the front with, what else, a white cross inside a red ball in the front. I swear, those panties exposed as much of Sunny's beautiful buns as any thong would have! On her legs, Sunny wore a pair of mid-thigh length white fishnet hose. There was a red ribbon that ran around the top edge of the hose and formed a red bow with a white cross in middle. For footwear, Sunny wore a pair of red, spike-heeled, shoes with platform soles of medium height. Under the fishnet hose and panties, Sunny wore a pair of regular pantyhose which had the crotch cut out. Sunny later ripped the top part of the pantyhose off of her body, then eventually removed what remained until she was so nude as the day she was born. (it was well worth the short wait!)

Once she was nude, Sunny did a lotion show using a large, red, plastic syringe to apply the lotion to her body.

To end this show, Sunny once again played a game of cooter ball for posters and a DVD.

Sunny performed this show to rock music including, ''Cat Scratch Fever,'' and, ''Bad to the Bone.''

Whenever Sunny Lane is performing in a club and location where she can pretty much do as she pleases, she commits very good interaction with randomly selected tip rail customers.

As an example of what I am speaking of in regard to Sunny's customer interaction, she pulled a female customer onto the stage during each show, played around with them and bared their breasts. (the second lady had a great looking set of breasts! In all fairness to the first lady, her breasts weren't too shabby, either.)

Sunny stands five feet even, weighs one hundred ten pounds and measures 36C-24-36. Needless-to-say, Sunny is a beautiful, intelligent, sweet lady who has a fantastic personality! She is also an excellent conversationalist, and she loves meeting and chatting with her fans.

In the relatively short time she has been doing it, Sunny Lane has become one of the most enjoyable feature dancers I have ever known!

There is absolutely no reason why anybody should ever pass up an opportunity to get out to a club to see Sunny Lane perform and to meet her in person. Trust me, Sunny will not disappoint.

There is only one possible small problem with being able to catch Sunny performing in any particular area. Sunny is under an exclusive contract to feature dance for only the Deja Vu chain. That includes all Deja Vu Clubs, Little Darlings Clubs, and Larry Flynt's Hustler Clubs. Hopefully, everybody reading this review of Sunny has one of these clubs nearby. If not, Sunny is well worth driving a couple of hundred miles to see!

There was a lady in Sunny's entourage during this weekend whose name shall remain withheld by request. This very friendly, sweet, intelligent, beautiful, sexy, young Asian-American woman was quite fun to chat with and had a great sense of humor. She most definitely helped a lot in keeping me from getting bored during the times that Sunny was back in the dressing room. Thank you very much for your sweet company, darlin'.

Sunny Lane Revisited

Saturday, May 10Th, I returned to the North Hollywood Déjà Vu to observe Sunny Laneís first show of the evening and to chat with her for a bit.

I no sooner entered the club, when I was greeted at door by none other than Cindy Crawford. (Cindy told me that she is ready to get back to feature dancing. She just needs to find a good agent.)

I later had the extreme honor of officially introducing Cindy and Sunny to each other!

For the one show I observed on this evening, Sunny performed the same show that I saw her do in Westminster just two weeks and one day earlier. However, there was one main difference in the show. Sunny was no longer performing in Mickey Mouseís back yard; therefore, she was able to interact with the customers the way she is accustomed to doing.

The show I am speaking of was Sunny's very beautiful and sensuous, ''Dancing Harem Girl,'' show, and she performed it so perfectly as ever!

Her costume for this show is still somewhat hard for me to describe, but once again, I'll do the best I can. For starters, the costume was basically an all white affair, while many of the decorations to the costume were gold. Sunny wore a headband which was encrusted with jewel-like sequins. (They may have actually been rhinestones. I still couldn't tell for certain.) She also wore bejeweled bracelets on each wrist and bejeweled ankle bracelets on each ankle. Sunny additionally wore a pair of long, dangling, earrings. The costume also consisted of a white veil and a bra that was completely encrusted with sequins. The bra had several gold-colored chains looped from the front of each breast cup and more gold- colored chains that looped between the breast cups. There was also a completely sequin encrusted belt with long bejeweled tassels. Sunny also wore a pair of white bottoms, beneath which she wore a pink G-string. On her feet, Sunny wore a pair of clear plastic high-heeled shoes with platform soles. Each shoe was actually all one sculpted piece with straps to hold them to her feet.

All of Sunny's music for this show had a middle eastern flavor to it.

There is still a chance for people who are located in California to see Sunny perform and to meet her in person soon. Sunny will be dancing at the Bakersfield Deja Vu Club the weekend of June 12Th through the 14Th. She will then be performing at the Ontario Deja Vu Club June 19Th through the 21st. After her Ontario engagement, she will be dancing at the Sacramento Deja Vu Club June 26Th through the 28Th.

Sunny will also be appearing at the Erotica-LA event being held at the Los Angeles Convention Center Friday through Sunday, June 6Th through the 8Th.

Pay Sunny a visit at: SunnyLaneLive.com

Taya Parker Again

After saying goodnight to Sunny, I violated a few speed limits returning to the Rio to spend the rest of the evening with Taya Parker.

For her second show of the evening, the first that I was able to observe, Taya performed her, ''Super Hero,'' show. For this show, Taya wore a red cape, and a, ''Super Girl,'' like dress. The dress was blue from the waist up, with long sleeves, and red from the waist down. The dress was completely covered in red and blue sequins. Beneath her dress, Taya wore a red and blue bra and a red and blue thong, both of which were covered with the appropriately colored sequins. To finish out her costume, Taya wore a pair of red, stiletto-heeled, shoes and a pair of red leggings, the combination of which gave the appearance of being a pair of boots. The leggings had a silver band around the top that came to a point in the front. The leggings were covered with the appropriately colored sequins, just as the dress was.

Taya's music for this show included Tina Turnerís song from the Mel Gibson movie, ''Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.'' (the title of this song is, ''We Don't Need Another Hero (Thunderdome).''

For her final performance of the weekend, Taya did her, ''Sexy Diamonds,'' show. For this particular show, Taya wore a multiple strand pearl necklace and a matching pearl bracelet on each wrist. She also wore a tight-fitting evening gown style dress that was completely covered with red sequins except for a piece of translucent, ruffled, red material about two feet in length around the bottom hem. Beneath her gown, Taya wore a red bra and a red thong, both of which were covered with red sequins. On her feet, Taya wore a pair of red, stiletto-heeled, shoes.

Taya can be seen at: TayaParker.com

Andy Enomoto, owner, editor-in-chief and publisher of Private Dancer Magazine, feature dancer Summer Leigh and a friend of Summerís from Hawaii came to the club in time for Tayaís final show. Gary Gottlieb, owner, editor-in-chief and publisher of Stiletto Magazine was there when I arrived and stayed until after Tayaís final show. I suppose this evening could have been considered a, ''Who's Who at the Rio.''

So, that will do it for one more week. We should all meet back here the next time and continue the discussion of sexy, gorgeous, women. Until then, everybody stay safe, have a great week, and live life as if there were no tomorrow!

Bonsoir et au revoir,
Myles Shaffer

HardArt Films

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