September 24, 2006 12:35am
O What a Lovely Party
Source: Courtesy of Tod Hunter
by: Tod Hunter
I was interested when I heard that the party for the release of Adam & Eve's O: The Power of Submission was going to be held at Boardner's, a legendary Hollywood watering hole that used to be the domain of animators who would mutter into their beers about what a cheap prick Leon Schlesinger (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leon_Schlesinger) was. I had also heard that Steve Boardner was an ill-tempered old coot who didn't take well to fancy drink orders, but that was a long time ago and he probably wasn't around any more.
I drive up Cherokee to scope the place out and there is nothing to indicate that a party is going on. No mob, no searchlights, no posters, no other photographers. After a quick panicked phone call to Wayne Hentai confirming the date and location, I parked on Cherokee (in a $15 lot, dammit), and walked up to the somnolent Boardner's.
Boardner's was quiet, but the nearby alleyway leading to a courtyard behind the bar was hopping with activity, as the party was getting ready to start. The Usual Suspects were there – photographers Jr, Dr. X, Our Australian Friend, plus Adam & Eve stalwarts like Katy Zvolerin, Peter Reynolds, Brian Gross, and Mischa Allen, plus a number of fetish-garbed performers, including an eyepatched Nina Hartley and her husband, the director of O: The Power of Submission, Ernest Greene. Somewhat disquieted from a walk from Sunset Boulevard, Our Australian Friend asks Jr and me if we considered the world not a safe place. Jr and I, habitués of Hollywood for decades, say no, we don't think so. A gaggle of starlets poses in front of the promo backdrop as cameras flash... Still pictures from the vid flash across a wall.... A guy in a fedora walks by, looking like a refugee from the Chabad Telethon... Rachel Worth, busy as can be. There's a Penthouse party nearby and another party for HBO's Entourage across the street... I notice that Katy's top laces up the back. When in Rome... A fetish party seems to be going on upstairs. Or maybe it's just part of the usual goings-on around here... I head into the restroom and find myself in a phone-booth-sized room with a urinal and a sink. Good thing that was all I needed...
A sales table has been set up in a corner of the bar inside, with fetish doodads for sale... Our Australian Friend chats up a girl in a leather corset and what looks like a bare backside, but I'm not gonna squat down and check... She turns around, G-string... Two new girls pose. Adrianna Nicole and Anastasia Pierce. Adrianna is a real go-getter, standing near the promo backdrop and jumping into pictures... Sunny Lane is in a black shiny dress. "Latex," she tells me. "Nina dressed me tonight. This feels good: It makes my nipples hard." She points with her index finger, and her nipple points right back... Boobs-out seems to be the style of the night. I like it... Kylie Ireland, haven't seen her in a while. We spend a moment catching up and promise to call each other. Who knows, maybe we'll do it this time... A woman walks by. She looks like Kathy Najimy. She probably isn't... I see Karen Stagliano chatting with Kylie... Katie Morgan, who I don't see as much as I used to since she stopped working at KSEX. Too bad, I always liked her... My mainstream writer friend is interested in that HBO interview she did, naked on the stage at the El Portal... Ashley Blue poses with Sunny Lane in front of the backdrop... Roy Karch is here. He could walk here. He probably did. Carmen Luvana makes her appearance, with Rob. Boobs out, of course... She poses with Greene, with Kylie, with Nina, with Anastasia... My mainstream writer buddy is here... Tommy Gunn... Hillary Scott, who I don't recognize at first. "If you had the lollipop, I would have recognized you," I laugh... Inside the bar, I see Jeff Mullen, who is reveling in being a party guest for a change... Sierra Sinn, Amber Peach... Director David Lord, who I haven't seen in a while, with Tori Lane. He offers to buy me a drink: "Vodka gimlet?" He's good...
The party begins to wind down about midnight. Or I do, at least. I say my goodbyes and head out into the not-so-dangerous streets of Hollywood to get back to my car.